So Kenny, youare an ex-cop
and you're nowa bodyguard.
I know you because I usedto open for Jim NortonRight.
and you are right nowhis bodyguard.
Uh, how long wereyou in the force?
I was a copfor 25 years.
I was a correctionsofficer before that
in a state prison.
The same prison whereStallone filmed "Lock Up."
Why are you saying that likeit's so cool, like who cares?
Do you have agun right away?
Yeah, yeah, yeah, you goto the police academy.
They give youa gun and a badge.
I mean, are theresome just like
straight-up retardsin the academy
that you can't evenbelieve they have a gun?
Um, there's an interestinggroup of people.
Of cops, yeah.
Okay, I'm gonnaname three races.
You tell me, whodid it, okay?
It's like a Jewish guy.
Half-- he's halfJewish, half Latino
and one guy is halfIrish, half Puerto Rican
and then the otherguy is Black.
Who did it?
The guilty person.
It was theJewish guy.
I-- I don't--you know,
I need to know thefacts before I act.
I just gaveyou the facts.Okay.
It was a Jew.Okay.
Um, if I were towanna become a cop
how long wouldit take me
from today towhen I got a gun?
You gotta pass thebackground investigation.
Do you knowmy priors?
Yeah, canI have a felony?
No, no crimesof moral turpitude.
Crime of moralturpitude?
What's somethingthat people
should know aboutcops that they don't?
Well, I don't know,it's a thankless job.
A lot of peopledon't realize that.
Everybody loves firemen,they hate cops.
What about you,do you love firemen?
Yeah, I don'tdo fire.
I'm scared of fire.
What are youscared of?
I don't likescary movies.
I remember one time--you know that movie "Se7en?"
I do know that movie.
That's nota scary movie.
That's just likean action movie.
And I remember,I watched it, you know,
on my night offby myself one night.
And afterwards, I had totake my dog out for a walk
and I had to bringmy gun and a flashlight
And then once I was outthere walking my dog
I was mad at myself thatI didn't bring my big gun.
So on your night offdo you usually
just watch a Brad Pittmovie by yourself?
That was backin 1995...
He was hot then,he was hot then.Yeah, yeah.
You know who wouldplay a great fireman?
Who, Brad Pitt?Brad Pitt.
How many Asian guyshave you ever arrested?
You never kept trackof the Asians?
No, I liketheir food.
How often do yousay the "N" word?
I've used iton occasion.
Oh, my God, Kenny.
Denzel...( chuckling )
What about Denzel?
...got an Academy awardin "Training Day"
for using that word.
Okay, but you werenot in that movie
and you arenot Denzel.
If you were trapped
on a desert island withone actor, who would it be?
No, it has tobe a guy.
If it were guy?
Why, why a guy?
It's not--that's the game.
I don't play games.
( laughing )Oh, my God.
Have you ever seenBenjamin Button?
That movie withBrad Pitt?
Oh, I didn't even rememberif Brad Pitt was in it
but you obviously did.
Yeah, isn't that whenhe's like, uh...
goes from oldto young?
Did you-- at the endof the movie were--
was that yourfavorite part?Never seen it.
But I seen the"Tree of Life."
( laughing )
Uh, what are your mainjobs as a bodyguard?
Well, I got a couplemain clients now.
I work for TheOpie and Anthony
Radio Show everymorning.Mm-hmm.
And I travel with acomedian now, Jim Norton.
Um, what happens if--
if as a bodyguardyou call in sick?
Are you just like, sorry,good luck out there.
Luckily, I, uh, never getincapacitated, you know.
And if I get the snifflesI just deal with it and...
Get the sniffles?
Yeah, and um...
Even when I wasa cop, like,
I had a very goodattendance record.
If you're not early,you're not on time.
You are so awful.
All right, thank youso much for coming in.
It was an honor.