Kurt Braunohler - The Best Way to Go Through Airport Security

Kurt Braunohler Season 3, Ep 13 07/25/2014 Views: 9,847

Even though Kurt Braunohler hates flying, he has found a way to make airport security a little more enjoyable. (1:30)

I obviously travel a lot,uh, because I'm a comedian.

And I don't likebeing in airports.

Like, they make me, uh,

they make me immediatelytense and anxious

for no reason.

Like, as soon as I getinto that security line.

Like, I knowwhat I packed in my bag.

And I'm immediately like,

"Oh, no. Uh, did I pack my gunthat shoots drugs?"

Like... that's not a thing.

I've invented it,and now I'm worried about it.

But I have figured out

the best way to gothrough security

is when you get to that thingthat spins around

and nobody knows what it does,

but somebody'slooking at you naked?

When you get to that thing,

instead of asking

for a pat-down, you just say,

"Oh, I'd likethe free body massage."

They're not gonna know

what you're talking about,but eventually

they'll lead you offfor a pat-down.

That man's first questionto you is gonna be

"Do you know how this works?"

And you just go...(laughs)

"Oh, yeah!"

And then as you get pat down,

just moan just a little bit.

Just like...

(low moaning)

"Did you find anything?"

If all of us do that once,

that will disappear.

[laughter and applause]