Jim David - Computer Problems

  • Season 4 , Ep 2
  • 12/10/2000
  • Views: 3,785

It's hard to hold a desktop computer while on the toilet. (1:28)

DON'T YA?

YUP.

I HAVE A COMPUTER.

I READ MY MORNING PAPERS

ON THE COMPUTER.

IT'S JUST HARD TO HOLD

THE COMPUTER ON THE TOILET.

'CAUSE I DON'T HAVE A LAPTOP.

(LAUGHTER)

THEY DON'T EVEN HAVE TO GO TO

THE LIBRARY ANYMORE, LIKE I DID.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE TO--

LIKE, SAY YOU'RE GONNA DO A BOOK

REPORT ON "BEOWOLF."

YOU KNOW, ALL YOU HAVE TO DO

IS GO "YAHOO, BEOWOLF," AND OUT

IT COMES.

YOU KNOW, YOU SHOULD HAVE TO GO

TO THE LIBRARY AND SPEAK TO A

HUMAN BEING AND SAY, "HI.

MISS MEGILLACUDDY, AH, WHERE DO

I FIND INFORMATION ON 'BEOWOLF'?

"OKAY.

YOU GO DOWN ROW A, SECTION C,

GROUP 32.

GO DOWN THAT ROW,

GO UP THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE.

YOU'LL SEE 5,000 SHELVES.

GO DOWN TO SHELF 3,792.

GO DOWN THAT ROW.

VEER TO THE RIGHT.

YOU'RE GONNA WANT TO VEER TO

THE LEFT, BUT VEER TO THE RIGHT.

YOU'LL SEE A BRICK WALL.

PUSH THE THIRD BRICK FROM

THE BOTTOM.

THE WALL WILL OPEN DIAGONALLY.

GO THROUGH THAT WALL.

GO DOWN THE SPIRAL STAIRCASE

TO THE LAKE.

GET INTO THE LAKE.

GET INTO THE BOAT AND CROSS

THE LAKE OF FIRE.

IF YOU'VE RENTED A HELMET,

THE BATS WON'T GET YOU.

WHEN YOU GET TO THE OTHER SIDE,

GO THROUGH THE LABYRINTH.

GO TO THE LEFT, THE RIGHT,

THE RIGHT, THE LEFT, THE LEFT,

THE LEFT, THE RIGHT,

THE LEFT.

LEFT, THE RIGHT, PAST THE THIRD

MUMMY OUT INTO THE WOODS,

DOWN THE HILL, OVER THE RIVER,

UP THE HILL, AND KNOCK ON

THE DOOR OF THE LOG CABIN AND

THERE WILL BE BEOWOLF HIMSELF!"

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

Loading...