I'm in my thirties, everybody'shavin' kids or uh, miracles.
Ah, it's a miracle.
It's alwaysa miracle.
I'm like, yeah,it's sex, right?
then that's exactly whatsuppose to happen from that.
I spend all my timepreventing miracles.
That is what's happening.
I-- That-- Icall it a miracle
when a girl doesn'tget pregnant.
That's when I start gettin'spiritual, like,
"Really...nothin' at all?
Okay, all right--One for you, all right."
Moment in my defense.
I just scored one.
Really... nothin' at all'cause I dropped the package
pretty far up on the porchon that one last night.
I don't know.
Maybe I got somethin'wrong with the pipes.
I gotta go see thedoc or somethin'.
I don't know.
But it's like, atleast all my friends
are havingaccident babies...
like, at least,that's okay, ya know?
Like an accident kid, it'sgonna be an interesting person
that you'regonna raise.
'Cause it's like,you're just like,
"What-- you're pregnant?
Uh, all right [deleted],we'll keep it.
Put it in the corner,throw food at it,
see what happens."
Ya know, like, that's gonnabe an interesting person.
I was an accident baby--"Really, Kyle?"
Yeah... whocan believe it?
Um... I think at thispoint, I'm an accident adult
as far as myparents are concerned.
But uh, like, my dad--When I was a little kid,
my dad would feed me carrotsfor, like, weeks at a time
'cause it wouldturn my skin orange
and he thoughtthat was hilarious.
That's a goodstory, ya know?
No, I had to go to thepediatrician for a check up
and he told the doctorthis hilarious story
and the doctor said,"Stop doing that.
"You're poisoning him."
It's a funthing, ya know?
But that's how ya-- Buthe was still a cool guy.
Like, "Come over--I got an orange kid."
Ya know, that's how youkeep your friends around.
You're gonna keepyour friends that way
even if you have kids--You're like, "I don't know.
We justmess with 'em.
We turn 'em orange--Do weird [deleted].
Blow pot smokein their ears.
I don't know--works for the dog.
I don't know-- We'lltry a thing, ya know?