All right, calm down.It's not a rally.
Filipinos actually have a lotin common with Latinos,
'cause for 300 years,
the Philippines wasconquered by Spain, right?
That's why we're calledFilipinos,
'cause it was King Phillip.
Right? I'm just glad it wasKing Phillip
and it wasn't King Dominic.
'Cause then we'dbe called Dominos.
Black people wouldjust call us "bones."
"Are you full bones?"
"No, I'm only half bones.
"You know, the one withtwo dots on this side,
and blank on this side?"
Filipino women love black guys.
I don't know what it is, butFilipino women love black guys.
It's okay, though,
'cause Filipino men loveblack guys, too.
My sister married a black guy.
It's true-- they sayonce you go black,
you never go back. It's true.
My sister's never been backto my mom's house.
Nah, I'm just joking.
My sister's husband,he's a good man. He's a lawyer.
It's good to have a lawyerin your family, right?
But I never thought in all mydreams that my brother-in-law
was going to bea brotha in law.
When Filipinos get oldwe all look the same.
Whether you're male or female,it doesn't matter.
When Filipinos get old,we look like this.
All right, screw you guysfor laughing at that.
That's not cool.
That's what I gotto look forward to.
That's my uncle--
"What is Ninja Turtle?
"Everybody says I looklike Ninja Turtle.
Is that handsome?"
And he moves so slow, you know.
Even if he has to go to thebathroom, it's the same pace.
It's just his hand'sright here.
He looks likethe Filipino Fred Sanford.
"It's the big one."