Sam Tripoli - Furry Back People

Mooney, Levy, Foster, Tripoli Season 7, Ep 712 01/23/2004 Views: 3,381

Pain is having to shave off a unibrow everyday just so women will talk to you. (1:48)

I'M HAPPY TO BE HERE.

EVEN THOUGH I'M THE ONLY

ARMENIAN IN THE ENTIRE SHOW.

WHAT'S UP WITH THAT?

NOT A LOT OF LOVE FOR MY PEOPLE?

FOR YOU WHO DON'T KNOW WHO THE

ARMENIAN'S ARE, WE'RE THE FURRY

BACK PEOPLE.

THAT'S US!

NOBODY LIKES US, NOBODY.

TRY GOING DOWN TO THE BEACH.

TAKE YOUR SHIRT OFF.

BABIES START CRYING.

WOMEN ARE IN THE CORNER PUKING.

"WHY ISN'T THAT DOG ON A LEASH?"

[LAUGHTER]

MAN, YOU WANT PAIN?

PAIN IS HAVING TO SHAVE HERE

EVERYDAY SO WOMEN WILL TALK

TO YOU.

THAT IS PAIN.

NO ONE WANTS ANY OF THAT

UNI-BROW LOVIN'.

[APPLAUSE]

SEE I JUST GOT NO LUCK.

LIFE IS ALL ABOUT LUCK.

IT'S ABOUT BEING IN THE RIGHT

PLACE AT THE RIGHT TIME.

THAT'S ALL IT IS.

I MEAN, COME ON.

THE BEST EXAMPLE OF THAT HAS

TO BE ANGELINA JOLIE'S CAMBODIAN

KID, HUH?

[LAUGHTER]

TALK ABOUT BEING IN THE RIGHT

ORPHANAGE IN THE RIGHT

THIRD WORLD COUNTRY, RIGHT WHEN

ROUND EYE CAME WALKIN' THROUGH,

YOU KNOW WHAT I'M SAYIN'?

LIKE HE WAS ANY CUTER THAN

ANY OF THE OTHER KIDS.

THEY'RE ALL ONE YEAR OLD

CAMBODIANS.

THEY ALL LOOK LIKE CUTE LITTLE

MUNCHIE CHEESE, SO SOFT AND

CUDDLY.

[SCATTERED APPLAUSE]

AND YOU KNOW IT JUST CAME

DOWN TO HIM OR ONE OTHER,

YOU KNOW WHO'S IT GONNA BE?

ONE, DA-DA-DA-DA-BOOM-BOOM!

SHIP HIM OUT UPS, NEXT DAY,

GOOD LUCK.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU, OH, YOU'RE SCREWED,

OFF TO THE SWEAT SHOPS WITH YOU,

MAKING SNEAKERS FOR THE REST

OF YOUR LIFE.

MAYBE IF YOU'RE LUCKY YOU CAN

BECOME A HOOKER AND CHOOSE

YOUR OWN HOURS.