Gerard Guillory - PlayStation

Season 2, Ep 0204 07/05/2007 Views: 8,091

PlayStation is like dope. (2:11)

And I don't knowif you know somebody

who does play PlayStation.

But I'm gonna tell y'allsomething tonight.

A PlayStation is seriousbusiness, you understand that?

A PlayStation is like dope.

A PlayStation just called you.

Fellas, you can just finishmaking beautiful sweet love

to your girl, you gonnacome up with a lie

to go downstairs and play.

You be like, "Ooh, girl,you wore me out tonight.

"Ooh, you were a tigressin the sack.

Ooh, (yawns) I think I'm gonnago downstairs and..."


And she knows it,

just like every womanin this room,

as long as the power buttonto the PlayStation

is in the "on" position,

she just slipped to #2on your list of priorities.

And no woman wants to slip.

She don't want to bebehind your mama,

your friends, your career...

certainly not John Madden.

And that's why she always wantto argue with you

when you know you got a housefull of guys playing the game.

And tell the truth, fellas, youdon't want to hear that (bleep).

Game is already on mute.

So now you got to tell everybodyin the house be quiet.

"Shh, y'all hold it down.I got my girl on the phone.

"Be quiet, my, shh,my girl is on the phone.

All right, baby, I'm listeningto you. Go ahead."


You better throw in an "uh-huh."

Otherwise she gonna knowyou playing that game.

Now let me let y'allknow this right now.

Addiction is addictionis addiction.

You cannot uphold and maintaina productive relationship

when you have an addictionof any sort--

crack, heroin, John Madden,same thing.

At some point... that's whypeople who do cocaine,

it's great and fun at first,

but eventually, you'll beforced to react.

And that's why peoplewho do cocaine a lot,

they end up losing everythingthey have.

You be standing down thereby the mailbox

with your last two belongings

trying to figure outwhat the hell just happened.

That's why you never let yourgirl hear the PlayStation

in the backgroundbecause she will snap on you,

you will snap on her,

you'll be outside by the mailboxwith your last few belongings

trying to figure outwhat the hell just happened.

It go just like this.

"I know you ain't playingthat damn John Madden."

You be like, "Look, bitch,let me call you back.

You 'bout to make mehave to punt."

(laughing)"Hit pause, hit pause.

"Look, girl, I didn't meanto call you a bitch.

"I'm just saying...

it's third and 12."


"Look, I don't have a job.

I need this win."