Lizz Winstead - Old People

  • Season 9 , Ep 2
  • 10/07/2004
  • Views: 3,874

Americans have no respect for the elderly. (2:04)

AND FORGET ABOUT IT IF YOU'RE

ELDERLY.

WE HATE OLD PEOPLE IN THIS

COUNTRY.

WE ARE SO DISRESPECTFUL TO OLD

PEOPLE IT IS SHAMEFUL.

THIS REPUBLICAN MEDICAL BILL

HAS 73 DIFFERENT DRUG PLANS

FOR OLD PEOPLE TO FIGURE OUT.

MY MOM IS 83 AND TAKES 50 PILLS

A DAY.

SHE TAKES ONE PILL SO THE OTHER

49 PILLS DON'T RUN RIGHT

THROUGH HER!

HOW THE HELL IS SHE SUPPOSED

TO FIGURE OUT WHICH OF THESE

73 PLANS IS GOOD FOR HER?

WELL, I'LL TELL YA!

GEORGE BUSH SAYS, "YA KNOW WHAT?

HERE'S THE BEST WAY TO DO IT.

YOU JUST NAVIGATE OUR MEDICARE

WEBSITE."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

THE HEART ATTACK ALONE WOULD

BE LIKE 50 PERCENT.

SO THEY WOULD BE, BE MUCH

EASIER FOR HIM.

BUT IT'S CRAZY, OLD PEOPLE

CANNOT FIND WEBSITES.

AND IT'S NOT LIKE HERE'S THE

MEDICARE WEBSITE, HAVE AT IT,

IT'S EASY.

IT'S LIKE, www.medicare.

I'll.give.you.a.minute.

to.get.your.glasses.SLASH

generic.drugs.will.surely

cause.dementia.SLASH

lets.be.honest.heroin.

would.be.cheaper.and.release.

you.from.that.prison.

of.a.body.you're.in.gov.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

THIS GOVERNMENT IS FORCING

OLD PEOPLE TO PILE INTO BUSES

IN THE DEAD OF NIGHT TO

ILLEGALLY BUY DRUGS IN CANADA.

AND THERE'S ASHCROFT AT THE

BORDER, ROUNDING THEM UP,

FILLING PRISON YARDS WITH

ANGRY ELDERLY PEOPLE SCREAMING,

"PLAVICA, PLAVICA, PLAVICA!"

[CHEERS, WHISTLES & APPLAUSE]

MAN, THESE PHARMACEUTICAL

COMPANIES ARE SUCH GREEDY PIGS,

I AM SURPRISED THAT WITH

EACH REFILL OF PRILOSEC,

THEY'RE NOT DOLING OUT A COUPON

FOR A FREE BLOOMIN' ONION.

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

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