Extended - #HashtagWars - #AmericaIn4Words

Extended - Thursday, June 30, 2016 - Uncensored 06/30/2016 Views: 987

In celebration of the 4th of July, Morgan Murphy, Adam Goldberg and Jim Gaffigan break down the essence of America in just four words. (1:53)

IT'S NOW TIME FOR TONIGHT'S#HASHTAGWARS.

(CHEERING)FOURTH OF JULY WEEKEND'S COMING

UP-- 'MERICA, GODDAMN IT!-- WHENAMERICANS PROUDLY FIRE UP THE

BARBECUE, CRACK OPEN SOME BEERSAND DISCUSS SOME MAJOR WAYS IN

WHICH THE UNITED STATES DIFFERSSOCIALLY AND POLITICALLY FROM

BRITAIN, AND THEN BLOW THEIRDICKS OFF WITH ROMAN CANDLES.

(LAUGHTER, WHOOPING)SO...

>> OH, YEAH!

>> HARDWICK: SO IN HONOR OF OURINDEPENDENCE, WE'RE GONNA

CELEBRATE EVERYTHING THAT MAKESAMERICA GREAT, OR NOT, WITH THE

HASHTAG #AMERICAIN4WORDS.

EXAMPLES MIGHT BE: FAKED THEMOON LANDING; AND: GAVE WORLD

HUEY LEWIS-- WHICH I'M ACTUALLYA SUPPORTER OF.

(LAUGHTER)I'VE PUT 60 SECONDS ON THE

CLOCK, AND BEGIN.

ADAM.

>> ANTI-SEMITES WHO LOVE ISRAEL.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

MORGAN.

>> WE HAVE TWO DISNEYLANDS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

JIM.

>> JESUS WAS BORN HERE.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

ADAM.

UH, UNITED WE... SIT, MOSTLY.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

GAFFIGAN.

>> NUMBER ONE IN DIABETES.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(CHEERING)NUMBER ONE! NUMBER ONE!

MORGAN.

>> FRIED CHICKEN ON SALAD.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

ADAM.

>> IMMIGRANTS WHO HATEIMMIGRANTS.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

MORGAN.

>> ABOUT FIFTY PERCENT RACIST.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

MORGAN AGAIN.

>> OH. FAMOUS FOR NO REASON.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

GAFFIGAN.

>> DON'T BRING UP SLAVERY.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)MORGAN.

>> CANADA WITH ASSAULT RIFLES.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

ADAM.

>> DONALD TRUMP, SARAH PALIN.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

GAFFIGAN.

>> LESS HOMOPHOBIC THAN RUSSIA.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

MORGAN.

>> ALL YOU CAN EAT.

>> HARDWICK: POINTS.

JIM.

>> FOUR WORDS ARE FOR QUEERS.

>> HARDWICK: ALL RIGHT.

(LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE)(WHOOPING)

WELL, POINTS TO JIM GAFFIGAN.