John Henson - Tiny Dogs

Lynch, Henson, Taylor Season 2, Ep 0213 05/20/1993 Views: 1,312

If a dog needs a sweater, it doesn't deserve to live. (1:43)

I saw this womanwalking a dog that big.

It's not even adog at this point.

They're not dog,they're dog mice.

That's what they are.

It's kind of dogthat's so small,

that it's justshivering all the time.

It's just always shivering.

It could be 90 degrees out,but the dog is just shivering

because it's sosmall it could retain

body heat in a microwave.

You ever see these dogs?

What happened to Darwin, folks?

Survival of the fittest.

If the dog needs a sweater,it doesn't deserve to live.

That's the way I look at it.

People get dogs for protection.

I want to take Karate.

Anybody here taking Karate?

Yeah?

How long you been taking it?

When you were a kid.

Yeah, I got a friend that's beentaking it for like six months,

which is a really dangerousamount of time to take Karate.

Because you get to thatfalse confidence stage,

you know what I mean.

You learn that one move,you think your Bruce Lee.

My friend thinks he's thenext action movie hero.

If somebody ever jumped outwith a gun and tried to mug him,

the only thing hecould do is go, OK.

Grab my wrist.

I don't think that'sgoing to work, killer.

He has an Uzi.

I want to take bettercare of myself.

I want to eat better.

I went to a Chinese restaurant.

You guys like Chinese food?

AUDIENCE: Yeah.

-I like the Chinese food, Ihate the dippy little fortunes

at the end of the meal.I think they're stupid.

I think we should use thefortunes to screw with people.

I think the guy thatwrites the fortunes

should be a manic depressive.

Think about it.

Every once in awhilesomebody, somewhere,

would open up theirfortune cookie.

They'd be like, I know-- guys?

Mine says, you die Sunday at 8.