Maria Bamford - High-Pitched, Grating Voice

  • Season 5 , Ep 2
  • 07/01/2001
  • Views: 30,417

Maria Bamford's agent wants her to know how grating her voice is. (1:25)

MY ACT.

MY MOM TOLD ME, SHE SAID,

"MARIA, IF A BOY DOESN'T LIKE

YOU, OK, IT IS JUST BECAUSE HE

IS INTIMIDATED BY YOUR BEAUTY,

BECAUSE YOU ARE THE MOST

BEAUTIFUL GIRL IN THE WHOLE

WORLD.

AND IF YOU WOULD STOP DOING

IMPERSONATION OF ME MAYBE OTHER

PEOPLE COULD SEE THAT."

(LAUGHTER)

I HAD A HARD TIME WHEN I FIRST

MOVED TO L.A.

I HAD LIKE SHOW BIZ TYPES.

LIKE MY AGENT WAS JUST LIKE,

SHE'S LIKE, "MARIA, WHEN I FIRST

MET YOU I WAS CONCERNED I WAS

GOING TO BE ANNOYED BY YOU.

BECAUSE YOU HAVE A HIGH,

GRADING, CHILDLIKE VOICE.

(LAUGHTER)

AND YOU NEED TO KNOW THAT ABOUT

YOURSELF."

MY OWN VOICE DOESN'T COMMAND

THE RESPECT AND THE ATTENTION

THAT I BELIEVE I DESERVE.

YOU KNOW?

I GO INTO A SHOP AND I'LL BE

LIKE, "HI. EXCUSE ME.

CAN I GET SOME--

"OH, NO LITTLE GIRL, WE'RE NOT

SERVING LITTLE GIRLS TODAY."

BUT IF I GO ON AND BE LIKE,

"HI.

WHAT'S YOUR NAME?"

CINDY?

"CINDY, I NEED TO SPEAK WITH

YOUR MANAGER.

THANKS A LOT SWEETHEART."

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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