Corey Holcomb - Five Girlfriends

  • Season 9 , Ep 24
  • 07/21/2005
  • Views: 33,516

Corey lets ladies in on every man's five girlfriends. (4:35)

THIS IS HELPFUL INFORMATION.

I WANT ALL THE LADIES THAT

IF YOU'RE NOT MARRIED

CHANCES ARE YOU ARE PART OF

SOME GUY'S ROTATION.

[LAUGHTER]

"NOT ME!"

YES YOU.

ALL GUYS HAVE A ROTATION.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT THAT NAIVE

LADIES, DID YOU REALLY THINK

IT WAS YOU AND YOUR BOYFRIEND

AND IT WAS Y'ALL AGAINST

THE WORLD?

NO.

THE AVERAGE GUY HAS FIVE WOMEN

IN HIS ROTATION.

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT FELLAS,

YOU CAN DISCREDIT ME IN THE CAR

ON THE WAY HOME OKAY?

THIS IS A COMEDY SHOW, REMEMBER?

[LAUGHTER]

BACK TO THE JOKE.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

UM, THE AVERAGE GUY HAS

FIVE WOMEN IN HIS ROTATION

AND BECAUSE I CARE YOU ABOUT

YOU LADIES, I'M GOING TO BREAK

ALL FIVE WOMEN DOWN IN A

GUY'S ROTATION SO MAYBE YOU CAN

FIND OUT WHO YOU ARE?

MAYBE THAT'S WHY YOU GUYS

ARGUE ALL THE TIME 'CAUSE

YOU'RE SPEAKING IN SOMEBODY

ELSE'S PLACE?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

C'MON, FELLAS.

IT'S TIME...

[APPLAUSE]

IT'S TIME TO SPILL THE BEANS.

C'MON FELLAS, YOU KNOW HOW

IT GOES.

YOU GOT YOUR NUMBER ONE GIRL.

THAT'S THE ONE YOU LOVE.

YOU WANT THINGS TO WORK OUT

WITH HER.

SHE TALK A LOT OF SMACK

BUT YOU GOT TO REMEMBER,

IT IS HER HOUSE.

[LAUGHTER]

NUMBER ONE IS IN THE

DRIVER'S SEAT BUT IT'S OKAY.

IT GETS FUN AFTER THAT RIGHT?

'CAUSE YOU GOT YOUR NUMBER TWO

GIRL, THAT'S NORMALLY THAT

REAL CUTE CHICK, THAT THINK

SHE NUMBER ONE.

HA, HA, HA, HA!

WHAT SHE DON'T REALIZE IS

ALL SHE GOT ON YOU IS A

CELL PHONE NUMBER.

YOU CHANGE THAT SHE WON'T

EVEN KNOW WHERE TO FIND YOU!

[LAUGHTER]

YEAH, LOOK AT ALL THE NUMBER

TWOS.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOU GOT YOUR NUMBER THREE GIRL.

THAT'S THE ONE YOU BEEN MESSIN'

WITH ON AND OFF FOR YEARS.

SHE'S REAL COOL.

SHE WOULD BE YOUR NUMBER ONE

GIRL.

IT'S JUST SOMETHING WRONG

WITH HER YA KNOW.

HER HAIR WON'T GROW OR

SHE'S MUSTY OR SOMETHING.

HA, HA, HA, HA!

BUT SHE'S A BEAUTIFUL PERSON...

IF IT WASN'T FOR THE FULL BEARD,

SHE'D BE YOUR NUMBER ONE.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU GOT YOUR NUMBER FOUR GIRL.

THAT'S NORMALLY A FAT CHICK

WITH GOOD CREDIT.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE WILL COSIGN ANYTHING

FOR YOU.

SHE BE AT THE CAR LOT WITH HER

BIG ASS, BE LIKE...

[LAUGHTER]

I GOT YOUR NUMBER FIVE GIRL.

THAT'S YOUR BOOTY CALL CHICK.

SHE AIN'T HERE TONIGHT.

SHE DON'T GO NOWHERE.

[LAUGHTER]

SHE DON'T KNOW NOTHIN' ABOUT

A COMEDY SHOW OR NOTHIN' YOU'RE

DOING.

SHE GOES TO WORK AND SHE COMES

HOME AND SHE WAITS FOR YOU

TO CALL.

IT DON'T MATTER HOW LATE

YOU CALL, SHE ALWAYS LET YOU

OVER.

YOU CAN BE OUT WITH A GIRL

THAT'S ACTING FUNNY WITH YOU

TONIGHT.

YOU DON'T CARE.

YOU CAN TAKE THE FUNNY ACTING

CHICK HOME AND CALL NUMBER FIVE

AT TWO IN THE MORNING.

DRUNK, LAUGHING.

[TELEPHONE RINGS]

[ANSWERS IN SLEEPY VOICE]

[GIGGLING]

"HELLO."

"HEY, IT'S BIG DADDY, BABY.

YEAH, BABY."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

ALL RIGHT, IT'S COLD OUTSIDE,

COME DOWN STAIRS AND OPEN THE

DOOR, OKAY?"

[LAUGHTER]

DON'T FEEL GUILTY FELLAS,

THIS IS HOW WE ALL DO IT

AROUND THIS COUNTRY.

YOU THOUGHT IT WAS JUST YOU,

DIDN'T YOU?

IT'S OKAY FELLAS, DON'T FEEL

GUILTY.

THIS WAY YOU KNOW WHO YOU'RE

DEALING WITH.

THERE'S NO STRANGERS IN YOUR

LIFE.

YOU DON'T HAVE TO BE OUT THERE

WITH NEW PEOPLE AND DISEASES.

NOW IF A DISEASE POPS UP IN THIS

SYSTEM...

THAT MEAN YOU GOT TO HAVE A TEAM

MEETING.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU LIKE, "HEY, HEY,

LISTEN HERE, SOMEBODY IS

MESSIN' UP, OKAY.

[LAUGHTER]

THERE IS A SELFISH INDIVIDUAL

IN THE GROUP HERE.

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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