IT'S A WASTE OF TIME
TO HATE PEOPLE FOR COLOR.
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
HUH?
'CAUSE I'M GOING TO TELL YOU
WHY.
THERE'S A WHOLE BUNCH OF OTHER
PEOPLE YOU CAN HATE THAT'S
NOTHING TO DO WITH COLOR.
I'LL GIVE YOU A FEW EXAMPLES.
I HATE SPORTS ANNOUNCERS.
AND I'M GOING TO TELL YOU WHY.
BECAUSE THEY NEVER LET THE PAST
DIE.
THEY ALWAYS GOT TO BRING UP
SOMETHING FROM LONG--
YOU COULD BE AT YOUR HIGHEST
MOMENT IN SPORTS.
BUT THEY JUST LIKE WOMEN.
THEY'LL BRING UP SOMETHING FROM
YEARS AGO THAT HAS NOTHING TO DO
WITH RIGHT NOW.
(LAUGHTER)
IT'S THE TRUTH.
GUYS, PAY ATTENTION WHEN YOU
WATCH THE GAME.
THE COLOR GUY, HE'LL BE CALLING
THE GAME, "JOHNSON SWINGS IT
INTO JONES, JONES SWINGS IT INTO
JOHNSON, JOHNSON TO RICHARDSON,
RICHARDSON SHOOTS.
IT'S A THREE.
RICHARDSON IS ON A TEAR, BOB.
I'LL TELL YOU ONE THING,
HE CAME TO PLAY TODAY."
RIGHT?
AND BOB WOULD JUMP IN,
"THAT'S RIGHT, JIM.
CONSIDERING ONLY THREE YEARS AGO
HE WAS CAUGHT WITH CRACK COCAINE
AND UNDER AGE GIRLS AND CHEATING
ON HIS WIFE, HE IS REALLY HAVING
A PHENOMENAL SEASON.
38 POINTS TONIGHT.
TOO MUCH.
YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE?
I HATE WHEN YOU EVER BE LOOKING
AT SOMETHING YOU WANT TO ORDER
IT AND YOU WAITING FOR THEM.
YOU GOT THE PHONE, YOU WAITING
FOR THEM TO GIVE YOU THE NUMBER.
BUT THEY DON'T GIVE YOU THE
NUMBER.
THEY GIVE YOU A NUMBER
WITH WORDS.
I HATE THAT, MAN.
'CAUSE IT MAKES YOU FEEL STUPID.
'CAUSE NOW YOU GOT TO FIGURE OUT
WHAT LETTER CORRESPONDS TO WHAT
NUMBER.
YOU KNOW WHAT MAKES IT BAD?
WHEN THE NEXT NUMBER YOU GOT
TO DIAL IS THE SAME LETTER.
RIGHT?
DON'T YOU FEEL STUPID?
YOU LIKE, OKAY, T IS--
T IS 5 AND...THE L IS 5.
BUT THEY ALWAYS HAVE THE NERVE
TO SAY, "HURRY NOW."
HOW CAN I HURRY IF YOU GAVE ME
WORDS?
GIVE ME THE NUMBERS I COULD
CALL.
I HATE CELL PHONES.
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO THE
REGULAR RING?
WHAT EVER HAPPENED TO
BRRRRINNGGG?
THAT LASTED FOR SO MANY YEARS
AND IT WORKED.
BRRRRRRIIIINNNG.
NOW EVERYBODY GOT A LITTLE TUNE
ON THEIR PHONE NOW.
THAT'S NOT THE BAD PART.
YOU KNOW WHAT THE BAD PART IS?
I HATE TO SEE BROTHERS AROUND
MY WAY LIKE REAL HARD, LIKE REAL
TOUGH, BUT THEY GOT A LITTLE
GIRLY TUNE TO THEIR PHONE.
THEY BE WALKING ALL HARD
AND THEY BE LIKE,
♪ LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA, LA
♪ LA, LA, LA
YEAH, THIS MURDER.
I SAID IT THE WHOLE FAMILY, SON.
I SAID THE WHOLE FAMILY.
YOU UNDERSTAND ME?"
♪ LA, LA, LA
I HATE PEOPLE THAT DON'T SAY
THANK YOU WHEN YOU HOLD THE DOOR
FOR THEM.
OHH!
(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)
OH, MAN! THAT IS MY WORST.
EVERY TIME.
ESPECIALLY WHEN SOMEBODY
GOT PACKAGES.
AND YOU TAKE YOUR TIME TO HOLD
THE DOOR AND THEY DON'T SAY,
OOH, DON'T YOU JUST WISH YOU
JUST GO BACKWARDS AND NOT HOLD
THAT DOOR?
RIGHT BACK TO WHERE WE WERE AT
'CAUSE I KNEW YOU'S WAS GOING
TO BE A BASTARD.