Michelle Buteau - White People at the Beach

Michelle Buteau Season 4, Ep 3 09/05/2015 Views: 5,428

Michelle Buteau didn't think much about the fact that she was dating a white man until she went to the beach with his family. (1:27)

I'd never feltlike I was dating a white guy

until I had to goto the beach with his family.

I'm like, "Ooh,this is how we different."

(laughter)

Well, 'causeI'd never been to the beach

with white European people,okay?

And let me tell y'all something.

They don't sweat. They melt!

I was like,"Y'all gonna be okay?

"You want a Gatorade,a banana, some electrolytes?

"Is that your skin on the towel?

"What you mean your skin comesoff, it'll grow back tomorrow?

"Are you a lizard?Are you a lizard person?

"I have never seena lizard person.

"You need your skin, bitch!

I'm no Dr. Oz,but you need your skin!"

(laughter)

And white European peoplegoing on the beach--

let me tell y'all something--they go prepared.

They had sandwiches,organic teas,

lotion, cigarettes, furniture.

I'm like,"Are we (bleep) moving?"

They had a tentfor the little white baby.

I have never seen a tentfor a little white baby

on Shark Tank ever.

They just leftthat little white baby in there

and went to the water.

I'm like, "You better watchyour little white baby.

"These are good money.

"Have you seen anyLiam Neeson movie?

You better watch your baby!"

This is crazy.

And people are looking at meon the beach

like I should bedoing something,

like I'm the Jamaican nanny.

I'm like, "No, no, no, no, no."

I pay my taxesin other ways, okay?

I'm not living my life likeI'm in that movie The Help.

I'm not in that tent,like, "You's special."

(laughter)

"You's kind.

You's important."