And now it is time to roll intonight's #HashtagWars.
This Friday Donald Trumpwill put his hand on a Bible
and be quickly sworn inas president
before the book startsto burn his skin.
All we knowabout the festivities so far
is that his event planneris saying it will have
a, quote, "soft sensuality"befitting the occasion.
Which to me impliesTrump getting a lap dance
in FDR's wheelchair.
so we're gonna...But he's not using it!
He's not using it!
So we're gonna get America ready
for thissure-to-be-titillating event
with a bit of foreplayper tonight's hashtag,
Examples might be--Sexual congress,
and... if your election lastslonger than four hours
please consult a physician.
-(laughter)-Uh, in 60 seconds, and begin.
-Judah Friedlander.-Mr. Gorbachev,
tear off them pants.
-All right, points.-(laughter)
-Judah.-Foreskin and seven years ago.
-Yes, very good. Points.-(laughter)
Oh, JFK's gettinga lot of action--
just like in the old days.
-Judah.-Filibust a nut.
-Yes, points.-(laughter, applause)
-Bryan Safi.-Mitch McAnal.
-Yeah, perfect! Points.-(laughter)
-Gibson. -Senate(bleep)-firmation hearings.
-You're welcome-I just...