Liza Treyger - Dating Is So Dumb

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 10/31/2013
  • Views: 15,319

Liza Treyger does not know why all relationship advice for women is terrible. (1:45)

'CAUSE I JUST BROKE UPWITH MY BOYFRIEND.

YEAH, IF ANYONE WANTSTO MAKE OUT, I'M HERE.

UH--[laughs]

SO, YEAH, IT WASA REALLY COMPLICATED SITUATION

'CAUSE I REALLY WANTEDTO BREAK UP WITH HIM,

BUT I ALSO WANTED TOKEEP USING HIS NETFLIX.

SO IT WAS LIKE, UGH,SO COMPLICATED.

[sighs]AND, LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO DATE.

DATING IS SO DUMB.I HATE IT.

THE LAST DATE I WENT ON,

THE GUY WAS CUTE,AND WE WERE MAKING OUT.

LIKE, HE KEPT TRYING TO HAVESEX WITH ME,

AND I DIDN'T WANT TO,SO I KEPT BEING LIKE,

"NO, NO,"AND HE KEPT TRYING.

AND THEN, LIKE, AFTER 40 MINUTESOF MAKING OUT,

HE STARED INTO MY EYESAND WENT,

"LIZA, QUIT BEING STINGYWITH YOUR [bleep]."

AND IT'S LIKE,

DID YOU THINK THAT LINEWAS GONNA WORK?

I MEAN--

I MEAN, IT DID.

GOOD ONE.

YOU JUST GOTTA TAKEWHAT YOU CAN GET, YOU KNOW.

UM, LIKE HAVING SEXWITH YOUR FRIEND'S DAD

IS NOT A GOOD IDEA,

AND THEN, LIKE,ONE TIME IT IS, AND--

IT WAS TERRIBLE.

HE HAD ALL THIS TROUBLEBREATHING.

I'M LIKE, UGH.

UM, AND THEN HE KEPT CALLINGMISSIONARY "TRADITIONAL,"

AND I'M LIKE, I DON'T--I DON'T KNOW.

I JUST--CAN YOU PLEASELET ME GO HOME?

LIKE, I DON'T WANT TO BE HERE.I DON'T KNOW.

AND ALL RELATIONSHIP ADVICEFOR WOMEN IS TERRIBLE.

LIKE, I WOULD LEARN, YOU KNOW.LIKE, I READ MAGAZINES.

I GO ONLINE.LIKE, I'LL READ A BOOK OR TWO.

BUT ALL RELATIONSHIP ADVICEFOR WOMEN IS TERRIBLE.

ALL IT EVER SAYS IS, LIKE,

"HEY, DON'T BE YOURSELF,'CAUSE YOU'RE A [bleep] PSYCHO!"

AND THAT'S IT.THAT'S ALL THERE IS.

IT'S LIKE,"DON'T BE TOO AVAILABLE.

DON'T CALL ALL THE TIME.DON'T TEXT TOO MUCH."

I AM VERY AVAILABLE.

I LOOK AT PICTURES OF CUPCAKESON THE INTERNET

ALL THE TIME,ALL THE TIME.

I KNOW ALL ABOUT NAIL ART.

LIKE, LET'S JUST HANG OUT.

I JUST WANTTO HANG OUT WITH YOU.

"HANG OUT WITH YOUR GAL PALS.GET A HOBBY.

GO WORK OUT."

YOU KNOW WHAT?

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