Kurt Metzger - PlayStation 3

  • Season 13 , Ep 1
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 11,720

Kurt just wants to see your PlayStation 3. (1:53)

OH, DID YOU EVER HAVE THISHAPPEN TO YOU?

I WAS, UH [CHUCKLES]

I WAS HANGING WITH THIS GIRLALL NIGHT,

NOT HAVING SEX WITH HER.

UH, JUST DOING, LIKE,FRIEND STUFF.

I DIDN'T REALIZE -- I DIDN'TREALIZE WHAT WAS HAPPENING.

SHE BROUGHT OUT A PHOTO ALBUM,AT ONE POINT, FOR US TO LOOK AT.

THAT'S HOW MUCHSHE WAS NOT GONNA BANG ME.

SHE WAS TAKING OUT PICTURESOF HER FRIENDS AND PETS

TO LOOK ATAT 3:00 IN THE MORNING,

AND I WAS FAKING ENTHUSIASMABOUT THE PICTURES.

LIKE,"OH, THIS IS YOU AND YOUR CAT?

"THIS IS WONDERFUL.

"THIS IS SO MUCH BETTERTHAN YOU [BLEEP] ME.

"THANK YOU SO MUCH.

"WHY DON'T YOU MAKE USSOME MORE COCOA?

"I'M GONNA GO HIT MY BALLSWITH A HAMMER!

WHO RAISED YOU?!"

[ LAUGHTER ]

IF A GIRL IS REALLY YOUR FRIEND,SHE WILL HAVE SEX WITH YOU.

DID YOU HEAR WHAT I SAID?

IF SHE'S A REAL PAL, SHE WILLBREAK YOU OFF SOMETHING.

'CAUSE THINK OF, LIKE,YOUR GUY FRIENDS.

LIKE, MY FRIEND JAY,FOR EXAMPLE,

JUST GOT PlayStation 3, RIGHT?

AND I LOVE -- I REALLY WANTTO PLAY WITH IT, YOU KNOW?

AND HE LETS MEBECAUSE HE'S MY FRIEND.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HE UNDERSTANDS HOW IMPORTANTPlayStation 3 IS TO ME.

HE DOESN'T SAY SOMETHING CRAZY,LIKE, "NO, I'M SORRY.

"WE'RE JUST FRIENDS.

"I HAVE TO SAVE MY PlayStation

"FOR SOME DOUCHE BAG IN A BANDTHAT'S GOING NOWHERE,

"BECAUSE MY DAD LEFTWHEN I WAS YOUNG,

AND I'M [BLEEP] IN THE HEAD."

HE DOESN'T SAY THAT TO ME.

AND THEN I'D HAVE TO BE LIKE,

"WELL, CAN I JUST LOOKAT YOUR PlayStation 3, THEN,

"FOR LIKE 2 SECONDS?

"I'VE SEEN THEM BEFORE, BUTI WANT TO SEE YOUR PlayStation.

"I JUST WANT TO TAKE A PICTUREOF IT WITH MY PHONE.

"CAN I JUST STICKTHE TIP OF THE CORD

INTO THE OPENING IN THE BACKOF THE PlayStation?"

Loading...