Chris Hardwick - MySpace & Facebook

Chris Hardwick: Mandroid Season 1, Ep 101 11/10/2012 Views: 12,972

Chris Hardwick is afraid to go back to his MySpace page. (1:47)

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I'm sure a lot of you areon social networks as well.

I still have a Myspace page.

Wow.

I have not been to itin years.

I'm afraid to go backto Myspace.

I think it'sa bad neighborhood now.

I think--

I think Myspaceis just abandoned now.

It just lookslike RoboCop's Detroit.

Like, it's just like...

[laughs]

I think my profilehas graffiti all over it,

and, like,kids making meth inside.

Tom's profile pic nowis just some guy

with scraggly hair,missing teeth,

long fingernails,and jars of pee everywhere.

"I'm in your top eight."

[laughs maniacally]

Facebook is puzzling to me.

I do havea Facebook account,

but Facebook is just weird.

Facebook is just likea naggy girlfriend

who's constantly trying to makeyou hang out with people

you don't wanna hang out with

and always making youtell her where you are.

"What are you doing?What are you listening to?

"Where are you eating?What's happening?

Where are you gettingyour dry cleaning?"

Like, all the time,

nonstop with status updates.

And then if you wannaleave Facebook,

if you try to break upwith it,

good [bleep] luck.

You can't do it.

You try to break upwith Facebook,

and it turns intothe most psychotic ex-girlfriend

you've ever had,

constantly asking youif you're, like,

"Uh, Facebook, this reallyisn't working out.

I don't wannado this anymore."

"Are you sure?"

"Yeah, I'm sure.

"Please, I would really liketo delete this account

and not be in thisrelationship anymore."

"Really, are you sure?""Yes, I'm positive."

"Really?'Cause Facebook connects you

"to all the coolest peopleand friends.

Are you sure youdon't want it anymore?"

"Yes, please, Facebook,this isn't working out anymore."

"Fine, then I'm gonna keepall your [bleep] pictures!"