Mike DeStefano - Like Everybody Else

  • Season 14 , Ep 20
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 4,101

In order for Mike DeStefano to hate you, he would have to think about you first. (1:59)

TAKING OUR JOBS."

[ Normal voice ]WHAT? TAKING OUR JOBS?

WHAT WERE YOU, AN EXFOLIATOR?

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Southern accent ] "I DON'TLIKE QUEERS. I HATE QUEERS."

[ Normal voice ] "WHY DO YOUHATE QUEERS...BUFORD? TELL US."

[ Southern accent ] "'CAUSE THEYALL WANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME."

[ Normal voice ]OH, YEAH, IT MUST BE

THAT SIX-MONTH-OLD,DRIED-UP BROWN GRAVY

ON YOUR NASCAR SHIRT.

THEY REALLY LOVE THAT.

HOMOPHOBES ARE THE DUMBESTSONS OF BITCHES AROUND.

THEY ALL --YOU GOT TO BE OUT OF YOUR MIND.

THEY ACT LIKE, "OH, THEY ALLWANT TO HAVE SEX WITH ME."

LOOK IN A MIRROR.YOU'RE SAFE.

THEY'RE GAY.THEY'RE NOT BLIND.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

GAY PEOPLE ARE ALL RIGHT.

NOW, YOUNG GAY KIDS AREANNOYING, I GOT TO BE HONEST.

THEY ARE --

THE YOUNG BOYS WHO HAVEN'TGOTTEN THE E-MAIL YET.

"SHUT THE [BLEEP] UP.NOBODY HATES US ANYMORE.

IT'S OVER.MOVE ON TO SOMETHING ELSE."

"OH, I'M GAY! I'M GAY!I'M GAY!

AND YOU HATE MEBECAUSE I'M GAY!"

IN ORDER FOR ME TO HATE YOU,

I WOULD HAVE TOTHINK ABOUT YOU FIRST,

AND I'M NOT DOING THAT.

NOW YOU GOT SOMETHING TO BEUPSET ABOUT, DON'T YOU?

"I JUST WANT TO BE TREATEDLIKE EVERYONE ELSE!

I JUST WANT TO BE TREATEDLIKE EVERYONE ELSE!"

WELL, EVERYONE ELSE ISNOT WEARING LEOTARDS

AND SCREAMING AT TRAFFIC.

YOUR BEHAVIOR IS INCONSISTENT

WITH YOUR DESIRE TO BE TREATEDLIKE EVERYBODY ELSE.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

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