The TAC Three-on-Three Tournament

  • Season 4 , Ep 11
  • 04/02/2014
  • Views: 4,361

Alice reveals her NBA ties, and the guys get ready to compete in an office basketball tournament to win a stay at a TelAmeriCorp timeshare. (2:13)

- WELL, I DO HAVETHIS NEANDERTHAL JAW HERE,

SO I'M GONNA GO WITH I'M A SIX.

- WELL, YOU'RE TOO SKINNY.

I THINK YOU COULD BE A SEVENIF YOU WEREN'T SO SKINNY.

'CAUSE, LIKE,GIRLS LOVE A LITTLE SQUISH.

REMINDS 'EM OF THEIR DADS.- YEAH.

- YOU KNOW? AND ALL GIRLSWANNA BANG THEIR DADS.

BUT THEY CAN'TBECAUSE OF LAWS AND STUFF.

- I'M AN 11,'CAUSE I GOT A SIX UP HERE,

AND A FIVE-INCH PORK SWORD,SO...

- OH...[laughter]

- OH! HEY, HEY!

[honks horn]- GET OUTTA THE WAY!

- LET'S GO, BABAK.

- WE'RE TRYINGTO GET SOME DOUGHNUTS, MAN!

- [laughs]OOH, THEY FEISTY TODAY.

- HEY, GET THIS HOOPTYOFF MY COURT.

- ARE YOU TELLING MEYOU CONDONE OF THIS? AND THAT?

- YEAH, WELL,CORPORATE'S BEEN BUGGING ME

TO START A "HEALTH INITIATIVE."

SO INSTEAD OF RUNNINGSOME STUPID 5K,

WHICH WOULD KILLHALF OF THESE SLOBS,

WE'RE HAVINGA 3-ON-3 TOURNAMENT.

- OH, VERY COOL.

I DID NOT KNOWYOU BALLED, ALICE.

- YEAH, WELL, IT'S IN MY BLOOD.

MY DAD WORKED FORTHE CHICAGO BULLS GROWING UP.

- MY GOSH. THAT WOULD BE,LIKE, A DREAM GIG.

- DID HE PARTYWITH B.J. ARMSTRONG?

- DID HE AND B.J., LIKE, GET BJsTOGETHER IN THE LOCKER ROOM?

THAT'D BE COOL, RIGHT?- [laughs] YEAH.

- ARE YOU ASKING MEIF MY DAD GOT A [bleep]JOB

NEXT TO AN NBA PLAYERIN A BATHROOM

AND THEN TOLD ME ABOUT IT?

- OH, IT'S INAPPROPRIATE?- YEAH, A LITTLE BIT.

- OH, SORRY, THERE'S DIFFERENTSOCIAL STANDARDS

IN DIFFERENT SITUATIONS.- YEAH.

- EW.

ANYWAY, I DID GET CORPORATETO PUT UP A COOL-ASS PRIZE.

[clicks tongue]

- OH! OH! IS THAT A DODGE DART?OH! [laughs]

I FREAKIN' LOVE DODGE DARTS.- GREAT SAFETY RATINGS.

- THAT IS MY FAVORITE CAR,AND I'M ASKING FOR THAT

FOR, LIKE, THE NEXT SIXCHRISTMASES FROM MY PARENTS.

- NO. NO, NO, NO,YOU DON'T WIN THE CAR.

NO, THAT'S THE COMPANY CAR.

BUT YOU DO GET TO DRIVE ITFOR A TWO-DAY ONE-NIGHT STAY

AT ONE OFTHE T.A.C. TIMESHARES IN RENO!

- SO WE DO GET TO DRIVETHE DODGE DART.

- YEAH.

- SO WE DO GET TO BEIN THE DODGE DART.

- TO THE BIG DIRTY, BABY.- TO RENO, TO RENO.

I THINK RENO IS THE NEW VEGAS.

INSTEAD OF, LIKE,BEING THE RAT PACK,

WE COULD BE, LIKE,THE FRAT PACK, DUDE.

I CALL SETH ROGEN.- I'LL BE ANY WILSON BROTHER.

- ANYWAY, YOU'RE PLAYINGWAYMOND, BILL, AND BABAK

AFTER LUNCH.

- OH. COUPLE OF LOSERS!WHERE THEY AT?

- 'CAUSE WAYMOND,YOU'RE GOING DOWN!

- WATCH THIS.HEY, GUYS. HEY, GUYS.

- DON'T HAVE SEXWITH THE DODGE DART.

- I'M GONNA DUNK OFF THE VOLVO!- HEY, DUDE--

- WATCH THE SUNROOF.

all: OH!

- DUDE!- [laughs]

- AND ONE...

OF MY NUTS JUST RUPTURED.

- WHAT AN IDIOT.

- IT'S OUT OF THE POUCH.

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