Brian Regan - DMV

Brian Regan: Standing Up Season 1, Ep 1 06/09/2007 Views: 21,834

Brian Regan is watching out for your safety on the road; the least you could do is say thank you. (2:25)

I lived in California forawhile, and to get my Californiadriver's license

This is true.I was reading in the Californiadriver's handbook.

It says, "To receive yourCalifornia driver's license,

"you will be requiredto give a thumbprint...

or another fingerprintif you have no thumbs."

Is this a common enoughoccurrence...

everyone needs to knowthis contingency plan?

Shouldn't that be justfor one guy at the know about?

"I'm gonna need a thumbprint.""I don't have any thumbs."



[ Gibberish ]

Only Charlie needs to knowwhat's gonna happen,

not every single personin the entirestate of California.

Why is that in that book?[ Chuckles ]

Speaking of, uh,fingers and driving--

It's not what you think.

I was driving the other day,and there's a guyin the lane next to me.

He's in a convertible,and he's talkin'on his cell phone.

Blah, blah,la, la, la, la.

"I think I'm more importantthan I really am.[ Gibberish ]

And here's why--"[ Gibberish ]

He was yammeringuselessly.

So I had to watchwhat I was doin'and what he's doin'.

And this guyhad constructionin his lane,

so he needed tomerge into my lane.

He didn't even know this,because he's into his call.

I knew he needed to merge.I gave him some room.

I swear.Here's how he thanked me.He's lookin' down.

He's talkin'. He looks up,sees the construction,

sees thatI'm givin' him room,and he goes--

Could less effort possiblybe put into thankinga fellow human being?

"Oh, man. Here I was,all self-absorbed,

"and you were nice enoughto look out for my safety.

I don't knowhow to thank youother than--"

"And I mean thatfrom the bottom of my heart.

"I mean that profoundly.

"Thank you.

Thank you fromthe very depths of my soul."