Eugene Mirman - Questions from the Audience Pt. 2

Eugene Mirman: An Evening of Comedy in a Fake Underground Laboratory Season 1, Ep 101 12/14/2012 Views: 1,815

Eugene Mirman knows what kind of vehicle handles well in snow and ice. (1:54)

Watch Full Episode

COMFORTABLE WITH [bleep]WHILE I AM HER HOUSE?"

IF YOU MEAN "IN HER HOUSE,"YOU SHOULD TOTALLY DEAL WITH IT.

IF YOU MEAN SHE IS LIKE,

"YOU ARE MY HOUSE, ANDI'M GOING TO [bleep] IN YOU,"

THAT IS A LEGITIMATE PROBLEM.

ONE, YOU SHOULD MAKE HER"MOVE OUT."

AND YOU SHOULD DEFINITELYNOT LET HER USE YOU

AS A BATHROOM.

I DON'T KNOW WHAT YOU MEAN.

UH-HUH.

"HOW MANY CATS ISAN ACCEPTABLE NUMBER TO OWN

BEFOREYOU'RE CONSIDERED CRAZY?"

TWO.

AT THREE CATS, IT'S LIKE,"WHAT ARE YOU DOING?"

AND THAT'S--THREE CATS ISTHE GATEWAY TO COKE AND STUFF.

"WHAT'S A CREATIVE WAYI CAN LET MY BOYFRIEND KNOW

HOW MUCH HE MEANS TO ME?"

I WOULD SAY DRESS UPLIKE BATMAN

AND PRETEND THAT HIS PENISMURDERED YOUR PARENTS...

WITH YOUR BUTT.

[laughter]

"CAN YOU RECOMMENDA VEHICLE

"THAT WILL HANDLE WELLIN SNOW AND ICE

WITHOUT COMPROMISINGFUEL EFFICIENCY?"

HELICOPTER!

[applause]

"HOW DO YOU DEALWITH A SMALL PENIS?

I REALLY HAVE NO IDEA."

AND THEN WITH IT,"ADVICE FOR ONLINE DATING?"

WELL, I DEFINITELYWOULDN'T LEAD WITH THAT.

"HOW DO YOU GETTHREE COLLEGE-AGE CHILDREN

TO MOVE OUT OF YOUR HOUSE?"

OOH.

RAISE THEM BETTER.

[laughter and applause]

THAT WAS FUN.