Marina Franklin - Barack Obama, Our Lord and Savior

  • Season 2 , Ep 4
  • 04/14/2011
  • Views: 19,198

It seems like Michelle Obama always knew she wanted to be a first lady; she doesn't look like she went through a slut phase. (4:25)

I'M... HAPPY.

(cheers and applause)

YEAH I GOT ONE 'CAUSEI STOPPED LOOKING.

BECAUSE THAT'S THE RULE.

IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR A MAN,YOU'RE NEVER GONNA GET ONE

'CAUSE YOU--'CAUSE YOU,YOU KNOW,

YOU HAVE THAT LOOK.

(laughter)

LIKE,"WHERE IS THAT (bleep)?"

(laughter and applause)

IT'S TOO DESPERATE.

IT'S ALMOSTLIKE A DESPERATE PROSTITUTE.

JUST ON THE STREETAT THAT POINT.

(laughter)

(laughter)

YOU SURE?

THAT'S TOO DESPERATE.

HAVE YOU EVER SEENA PROSTITUTE GO, "YOU SURE?"

YOU CAN'T BE LIKE THAT.

IT'S WHEN YOU'RE NOT LOOKING,THAT'S WHEN IT HAPPENS.

IT'S THAT MOMENT OF CALM

WHEN YOU'RE NOT EVEN THINKINGABOUT IT, JUST HAPPY.

THAT'S WHEN A MAN'S GONNALOOK AT YOU, LIKE, "OOH...

YE-E-E-AH."

(laughter)

"HOW CAN I DESTROY HER?"

(laughter)

I'M ORIGINALLYFROM CHICAGO.

THAT IS THE HOMEOF BARACK OBAMA,

OUR LORD AND SAVIOR.

(cheers and applause)

OH, OKAY.

THAT JOKEHASN'T BEEN WORKING LATELY.

I STILL LIKE HIM.

I'M A FAN OF MICHELLE OBAMA.I THINK SHE IS REALLY CLASSY.

(cheers and applause)YEAH, I LOVE HER.

I MEAN, SHE'S A GOOD ROLE MODELFOR YOUNG GIRLS,

AND IT'S ABOUT TIMEBLACK WOMEN

HAVE A POSITIVE ROLE MODELLIKE THAT.

WE GET A LOTOF NEGATIVE STUFF.

I WAS ACTUALLY THINKING,OH, SHE'S FROM CHICAGO.

I'M FROM CHICAGO.I COULD HAVE BEEN...

(laughter)

A FIRST LADY.

BUT THEY WOULD HAVE DONETHAT BACKGROUND CHECK.

I AIN'T NO LADY.

(laughter)

LIKE MICHELLE LOOKS LIKESHE ALWAYS KNEW

SHE WANTED TO BE A FIRST LADY,YOU KNOW?

DON'T LOOK LIKE SHE WENT THROUGHA SLUT PHASE.

(laughter)

MNH-MNH.

I DID.

SLUT PHASE ONE,TWO AND THREE.

THERE'S A FOURTH COMING.

(laughter)

EVERY MAN ALWAYS WANTS TO KNOWHOW MANY MEN YOU SLEPT WITH?

I HAVE ALWAYS LIED ABOUT THAT.

AS THE PRESIDENT,HE COULD FIND THAT OUT.

(laughter)

LIKE, IF HE ASKED MICHELLEHOW MANY MEN SHE SLEPT WITH,

SHE'D BE LIKE,"BABY...

I'M YOUR FIRST LADY."

(laughter)

IF THAT HAVE BEEN ME,IT--

IT'D BE LIKE...

"WHAT?"

(laughter)

"WELL, WHAT HAD HAPPENEDWAS, SEE..."

(laughter)

"I'M YOUR FIRST HO."

(laughter)

OH, OKAY.YOU GUYS--

YOU MADE ME FEEL LIKE A HOTHE WAY YOU LAUGHED AT THAT.

(laughter)

NO, DIFFERENT REACTIONS,DIFFERENT, YOU KNOW--

IT'S ALL RIGHT.

IT'S JUST IF THEY LAUGH MORE,I FEEL LESS OF A HO.

YOU GUYS LAUGHED A LITTLE,I FEEL MORE LIKE A HO.

THANK YOU.

'CAUSE I HAD A GUY ONE TIME WHODIDN'T LIKE THAT JOKE AT ALL,

AND HE ACTUALLY TOLD ME,"YOU SHOULD REPRESENT YOURSELF

BETTER ON STAGE,DON'T CALL YOURSELF A HO."

AND I GOT REALLY UPSET'CAUSE I'M DOING COMEDY,

PLUS I DON'T LIKE NOBODYTELLING ME WHAT TO DO.

LIKE, I GOT SO MAD,

I DEFENDED THE FACTTHAT I WAS A HO.

(laughter)

(cheers and applause)

IT WAS LIKE, "WHAT?!I'M A HO!"

(laughter)

OKAY, I'M DONE.THANK YOU.

I'M NOT A HO.

(cheers and applause)

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