Mike Birbiglia - Gay Cats

  • Season 1 , Ep 4
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 11,799

Mike Birbiglia's girlfriend's cats are "prison gay." (0:57)

(Mike Birbiglia)ONE DAY MY GIRLFRIENDCALLED ME FROM WORK.

SHE'S LIKE, "YOU GOTTA TAKETONY..." THAT'S HER CAT,

"TO THE VET 'CAUSE HE'S GOTA URINARY TRACT INFECTION."

SO I TOOK HIM IN.

THEY GIVE ME THISQUESTIONNAIREABOUT THE CAT

AND I DIDN'T KNOWANY OF THE ANSWERS.

I GOT, LIKE, TWORIGHT, CAT AND MALE.

IT SAID, "DESCRIBE THEREASON YOU ARE HERE TODAY,"

AND I WROTE, "MYGIRLFRIEND IS AT WORK."

AND I THINK THE CATSWERE GAY 'CAUSE THEY WERE

ALWAYS LICKING EACH OTHERAND SPOONING IN THE WINDOW

AND CRITICIZINGTHE WAY I DRESS.

I DON'T THINK IT'SA BIOLOGICAL THING,

LIKE THEY'RE GAY BY BIRTH.

I THINK IT'S ANENVIRONMENT THING,

LIKE, THEY'RE PRISON GAY.

LIKE, THEY DON'T SEEANY FEMALE CATS EVER

AND AFTER A WHILE,IT'S JUST LIKE...

LOOK, TONY, WE AIN'TGETTING ANY YOUNGER, BUDDY.

THIS MIGHT BE THECATNIP TALKING,

BUT I LIKE THE WAY YOURBELLY MATCHES YOUR PAWS.

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