Dan Naturman - Racist Dating

  • Season 9 , Ep 11
  • 04/14/2005
  • Views: 5,779

Racism is alive and well in America. (1:42)

THERE IS STILL RACISM IN

AMERICA PEOPLE.

I HATE TO SAY IT.

RACISM IS ALIVE AND WELL.

AND, ACTUALLY, IT'S MOSTLY GONE

BUT IT'S STILL OUT THERE IN

SMALL AMOUNTS 'CAUSE I WAS

TALKING TO A GIRL RECENTLY SIR,

GET THIS, SHE WAS LOOKING GOOD,

I'M THINKING "WHAT THE HELL,

I'M GOING FOR IT".

I'M TALKING TO HER AND IT'S

GOING GOOD.

I MEAN, YOU KNOW SHE SEEMS LIKE

SHE'S INTO IT AND ALL THAT BUT

THEN SHE'S TELLING ME 'CAUSE

SHE'D BEEN DRINKING, YOU KNOW

PEOPLE DRINK THEY SAY WHAT'S ON

THEIR MIND.

SHE'S TELLING ME SHE DON'T LIKE

BLACK PEOPLE, CAN YOU BELIEVE IT

IN THIS DAY AND AGE, SIR?

I WAS HORRIFIED, TOO.

ON THE OTHER HAND I WAS ALSO

HORNY SO I PLAYED ALONG, RIGHT?

PRETENDED TO AGREE WITH HER.

SO I FINALLY TALK HER INTO

COMING HOME WITH ME, OF COURSE

I HAD TO CALL UP MY ROOMMATE

DARNELL AND TELL HIM TO GET

THE HELL OUT OF THERE.

[LAUGHTER]

I'M LIKE "DUDE, NO TIME TO

EXPLAIN JUST GO.

AND YOU KNOW THAT POSTER OF

MARTIN LUTHER KING IN THE

LIVING ROOM?

TAKE IT WITH YOU,

YOU UNDERSTAND, 'CAUSE I HAVE

A DREAM OF MY OWN, ALL RIGHT?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YEAH.

'CAUSE I WILL SELL OUT THE

BLACK MAN FOR A PIECE OF ASS,

I HATE TO SAY IT.

AND I KNOW IT'S WRONG, SIR.

BY THE WAY, DON'T LOOK AT ME

LIKE THAT SIR, DON'T LOOK AT ME,

I KNOW IT, DON'T BLAME ME.

BLAME THESE BITCHES SIR,

THE BITCHES, YOU KNOW HOW

THEY'RE NOT GIVING THE BOOTY

AWAY AND YOU KNOW IT'S TRUE

LADIES, YOU'RE VERY STINGY.

YOU'RE VERY STINGY.

'CAUSE IF COMES DOWN TO

CIVIL RIGHTS VS. ME GETTING

LAID, SOMEONE'S GOING TO THE

BACK OF THAT BUS THAT'S ALL

I GOT TO SAY ABOUT THAT.

SOMEONE'S GOING STRAIGHT TO

THE BACK OF YE OLD BUS AND AH...

LOOK I DON'T MAKE THE RULES,

I JUST PLAY BY 'EM, PEOPLE.

YOU KNOW, BECAUSE IT'S HARD,

IT'S HARD, YOU WOMEN MAKE IT

DIFFICULT AND GUYS, I MEET

A LOT OF GUYS FROM OUT OF TOWN

THEY ALWAYS WANT TO KNOW,

THEY THINK I KNOW ALL THE COOL

SPOTS.

THEY'RE LIKE "DAN, WHAT'S A

HOT BAR WE CAN GO TO, YOU KNOW

GET SOME ACTION?"

I'M LIKE, "OH, YOU WANT A BAR

WHERE YOU GONNA GET SOME ACTION?

ALL RIGHT, YOU GO TO THE END

OF THE BLOCK, RIGHT?

AND THEN YOU TURN GAY AND IT'S

RIGHT THERE, IT'S RIGHT THERE,

THAT'S WHERE YOU'RE GONNA GET

SOME ACTION 'CAUSE...

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