DL Hughley - Iraq War

DL Hughley: Shocked and Appalled Season 1, Ep 101 05/15/2005 Views: 4,810

DL Hughley is all for the war in Afghanistan, but he can't get behind the American government's actions in Iraq. (3:09)

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DEFINITELY FOR THE WAR IN

AFGHANISTAN 'CAUSE I'M NOT LIKE

ONE OF THOSE PEACEFUL DUDES.

LIKE I HATE PEOPLE WITH THOSE

STUPID ASS BUMPER STICKERS,

"WAR IS NOT THE ANSWER."

THAT DEPEND ON WHAT THE QUESTION

IS.

'CAUSE SOMETIMES A GOOD

ASS WHOOPIN' IS JUST WHAT

SOMEBODY NEED.

THAT'S THE DEAL, I'M NOT

KIDDING.

I'M NOT SAYING ALL THE TIME.

[APPLAUSE]

I WAS FOR THE WAR IN AFGHANISTAN

'CAUSE THEY WERE HARBORING THE

PEOPLE THAT WERE RESPONSIBLE FOR

9-11.

TO ME WE WAITED TOO LONG TO

GET THEM MOTHER [BLEEP].

THEY DID THAT [BLEEP] ON

SEPTEMBER 11th AND WE SHOULD

HAVE BEEN IN THEIR ASS

SEPTEMBER 11th AND A HALF.

[LAUGHTER]

I WAS GETTING IMPATIENT.

I STARTED TO WALK INTO 7-ELEVEN

AND SLAP THE HELL OUT OF

SOMEBODY.

"GET ME A SLURPEE YOU SON OF A

BITCH!

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

AND $5 ON THE LOTTO.

[LAUGHTER CONTINUES]

NUMBER 20."

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I AM NOT WITH THE WAR IN IRAQ.

I AIN'T-- NOT TO SAY I DON'T

SUPPORT THE TROOPS, I DO.

I UNDERSTAND THAT THOSE MEN

DO NOT GET TO DECIDE WHERE THEY

GO.

THEY HAVE TO GO WHERE THEY'RE

STATIONED.

AND GOD BLESS 'EM I WANT 'EM ALL

TO RETURN SAFELY.

AND I DO NOT--

[CHEERS AND APPLAUSE]

I THINK THAT WHEN YOU START

A WAR FOR A REASON YOU HAVE

AN OBLIGATION TO MAKE SURE THAT

REASON IS THE TRUTH.

THAT'S THE DEAL.

IF YOU'RE GONNA SAY SOMEBODY

HAVE SOMETHING THEY SHOULD HAVE

IT.

THAT'S IT.

[APPLAUSE]

REMEMBER WHEN COLIN POWELL WENT

TO THE U.N. HAD ALL THEM

[BLEEP] DAMN GRAPHS AND

CARTOONS.

[MIMICKING COLIN POWELL]

"WELL, THEY HAVE THIS RIGHT

HERE.

AND THEY CAN TAKE THIS ONE OF

THESE AND SHOOT 'EM OVER HERE.

AND THAT WON'T BE GOOD.

AND THEN UNDER HERE THAT CAN

HAPPEN.

AND BASICALLY WE HAVE TO BLOW

THIS WHOLE AREA UP RIGHT HERE."

[LAUGHTER]

NOW IT'S DANGEROUS 'CAUSE NOW

WE HAVE CIVIL WAR.

WE HAVE MEN WHO MAY NOT

NECESSARILY HATE FREEDOM.

WHAT THEY HATE IS OTHER MEN

TELLING THEM WHAT TO DO.

NO ONE LIKES OTHER MEN TELLING

THEM WHAT TO DO.

IF SOMEBODY INVADED THIS COUNTRY

THEY WOULD CATCH HELL BECAUSE

WE DON'T WANT ANYBODY TO TELL US

WHAT TO DO.

MEN WHO ARE NOT AFRAID TO DIE

YOU CAN'T DO NOTHING WITH.

THEY AIN'T SCARED TO DIE.

SEE THAT'S WHAT WE'RE TRYING

TO DO.

THEY DEAL IS--

[APPLAUSE]

IN ORDER--

EVEN IF ME AND YOU PLAYING

BASKETBALL IN ORDER FOR ME

TO BEAT YOU I HAVE TO KNOW YOUR

STRENGTHS AND YOUR WEAKNESSES.

I HAVE TO GIVE YOU CREDIT FOR

YOUR STRENGTH AND KNOW YOUR

WEAKNESSES.

I HAVE TO DO THAT.

BUT WE DON'T DO THAT.

WE DON'T UNDERSTAND THESE

PEOPLE.

THEY DON'T UNDERSTAND US.

WE HAVE DIFFERENT RELIGIOUS

BELIEFS.

LIKE HERE WE BELIEVE IN THEN

COUNTRY THAT IF YOU KILL

YOURSELF IT IS A SIN AND YOU GO

TO HELL.

THEY BELIEVE IF THEY KILL

THEMSELVES FIGHTING THEIR ENEMY

IT IS AN HONOR AND THEY GO TO

HEAVEN.

AND THE [BLEEP] UP THING ABOUT

IT SOMEBODY RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I'M GONNA WAIT TILL THE CREDITS

ROLL ON THIS MOVIE BEFORE I WALK

OUT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

WE CALL THEM COWARDS, WE DON'T

UNDERSTAND.

THEY'RE NOT COWARDS.

YOU AIN'T A COWARD WHEN YOU

STAY IN THE CAR YOU KNOW GONNA

BLOW UP.

'CAUSE THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN

THE TIME I LEFT THE RALLY.

"AH, THIS ALLAH THING AIN'T

WORKING OUT.

DAMN, THAT HURT.

OOH, I'M GONNA GO DOWN HERE AND

SEE WHAT THEM JEHOVAH WITNESSES

IS UP TO.

OOH."