Chris Hardwick - Abercrombie & Fitch

  • Season 1 , Ep 2
  • 10/16/2012
  • Views: 11,752

Chris Hardwick explains that Abercrombie & Fitch stores are weird nightclubs designed to scare old people away. (1:14)

CAN'T GO THERE ANY MORE.

FIRST OF ALL,I DON'T EVEN UNDERSTAND

THE JEANSTHEY'RE PEDDLING THERE.

LIKE, LOOK, I GET SOME GUYS LIKETO WEAR PRE-DISTRESSED JEANS.

THEY HAVE A COUPLEWEARS AND TEARS

THAT YOU DIDN'T PUT THERE

'CAUSE YOU WANNA GIVE

SOME ADVENTUROUS IMPRESSIONOF YOURSELF TO THE WORLD

SO YOU CAN GO BURSTINGINTO ROOMS LIKE

"HEY, EVERYBODY,I JUST GOT THROWN OFF A HORSE.

WHAT'D I MISS?"OR WHATEVER.

AND THE STORES THEMSELVES

HAVE TURNED INTO THESEWEIRD NIGHTCLUBS

THAT ARE DESIGNED TO SCAREOLD PEOPLE AWAY.

YOU WALK BY AN ABERCROMBIE& FITCH STORE IN A MALL

AND THEY'RE PUMPING ALLTHIS COLOGNE OUT IN FRONT,

AND IT SMELLS LIKE DATE RAPEAND GETS IN YOUR EYES

AND CLOUDS YOUR JUDGMENTAND--

AND YOU GO INSIDE AND THERE'SA THUMPING TECHNO MUSIC

THAT IS GAYER THAN [bleep]ON A MUSTACHE.

IT'S LIKE--

BUT YOU REALLY EXPECTTO GO INSIDE AND SEE DUDES

DOING LINES OF COKEOFF THE FOLDING TABLES

WHILE VAMPIRES ARE FEEDINGON ASIAN SCHOOLGIRLS

IN THE DRESSING ROOMS

WHILE THE GHOST OF OSCAR WILDE

IS BLOWINGTHE GHOST OF ANDY WARHOL

ON THE BACK OF A UNICORNWITH A DICK FOR A HORN

SHOOTING DOUBLE RAINBOWSONTO A PROJECT RUNWAY MARATHON.

THANK YOU SO MUCH,YOU GUYS!

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