Rapid Refresh - Super Pervy Mario

  • Season 1 , Ep 01025
  • 02/19/2014
  • Views: 634

Matt Besser, Matt Walsh and Ian Roberts find a strange image in the promotional video for Nintendo Girls Club and check in on Putin after the Russians' Olympic hockey loss. (3:13)

RIPPED FROM TODAY'S INTERNET

HEADLINES, IT'S RAPID REFRESH.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THEY'RE VERY EXCITED.

NINTENDO U.K. LAUNCHED A NEW

YOUTUBE CHANNEL CALLED NINTENDO

GIRL'S CLUB TO PROMOTE GAMING

FOR WOMEN, THAT'S GREAT.

BUT IN THE VIDEO ANNOUNCING IT

WE NOTICED A VERY WEIRD AND

VAGUELY DISTURBING IMAGE OF A

NINTENDO CHARACTER.

WHAT WAS IT?

WAS IT A) MARIO CREEPING IN A

TEENAGE GIRL'S BEDROOM?

(LAUGHTER)

B) YOSHI APPEARING TO DRY HUMP A

MUSHROOM.

OR C) DONKEY KONG STUFFING A

CHILD INTO A BARREL?

(LAUGHTER)

IAN?

>> I'M GOING TO SAY IT'S MARIO,

A, CREEPING INTO A TEENAGE

GIRL'S BEDROOM.

>> Chris: LET'S FIND OUT.

>> EVEN REQUEST A VIDEO OF YOUR

FAVORITE GAME.

(LAUGHTER)

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

>> Chris: I FEEL LIKE THE READ

ON THAT WOULD BE "IT'S-A-ME,

MARIO."

(LAUGHTER)

COMEDIANS, FOR BONUS POINTS,

WHAT YOU WOULD GIVE THIS PERVY

NEW SUPER MARIO GAME?

WHAT TITLE WOULD YOU GIVE THIS

PERVY NEW SUPER MARIO GAME, MATT

BESSER?

>> TO CATCH A MARIO.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: I'LL GIVE YOU POINTS

FOR THAT, 100 POINTS.

MATT WALSH?

>> MARIO LIKES TO WATCH CART 64.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: POINTS.

>> SUPER MARIO, BACK OF THE MILK

CARTON EDITION.

>> Chris: YES!

POINTS.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

ALL RIGHT, SAD OLYMPIC NEWS: THE

RUSSIAN HOCKEY TEAM LOST TO

FINLAND AND WAS ELIMINATED.

(AUDIENCE REACTS)

PLEASE CONTAIN YOUR SADNESS!

APPARENTLY, PUTIN COULDN'T GET

HIS HELMET ON IN TIME TO PLAY.

OH, THERE IT IS.

ALMOST.

OH, HE'S ALMOST.

HE ALMOST HAS IT!

IT'S ON?

IT'S ON!

THERE IT GOES AGAIN!

(LAUGHTER)

I'D SAY HE'S VERY BAD AT PUTIN

ON HATS.

(LAUGHTER)

NO, DON'T, SHUT UP.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

I HATE MYSELF.

>> ♪ PUTIN ON THE HAT

>> ♪ PUTIN ON THE HAT

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: ♪ IF YOU'RE BLUE AND

YOU DON'T KNOW WHERE TO GO TO. ♪

DO NOT COME HERE IF YOU'RE GAY.

(LAUGHTER)

♪ PUTIN ON MY HAT

(LAUGHTER)

THIS PICTURE FROM SUNDAY'S

HOCKEY GAME BECAME AN INSTANT

MEME THE MOMENT RUSSIA WAS

ELIMINATED.

IT'S PUTIN AND THE RUSSIAN PRIME

MINISTER ABOUT TO FILL THEIR

SKYBOX WITH VODKA PUKE AND

BORSCHT FARTS BEFORE--

(LAUGHTER)

HERE IT IS IN MEME FORM RIGHT

THERE.

"I CAN'T BELIEVE WE LOST.

NEXT OLYMPICS WE USE BEARS."

(LAUGHTER)

WHY CAN'T WE USE HOCKEY BEARS?

COMEDIANS, PLEASE COME UP WITH

YOUR OWN MEME FOR THIS PICTURE.

MATT BESSER.

>> NEXT TIME WE START A PUSSY

RIOT.

(LAUGHTER)

>> Chris: WELL PLAYED, POINTS!

MATT WALSH.

>> PRIME MINISTER, TO SUPPRESS

THESE FEMININE FEELINGS, YOU

MUST GIVE ME REACH AROUND NOW.

(LAUGHTER)

>> POINTS.

IAN.

>> IF ONLY WE COULD EXECUTE OUR

POWER PLAYS THE WAY WE EXECUTE

OUR JOURNALISTS.

>> POINTS!

WOW, FUNNY AND POLITICAL.

I'M ON BOARD!

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