Rachel Feinstein - Stirring Herself

  • Season 14 , Ep 11
  • 01/11/2010
  • Views: 39,560

Rachel Feinstein's mother wears so much Native American jewelry that her breast looks like a Navajo graveyard. (3:44)

MY MOM'S VERY SASSY.MY MOM'S JUST VERY SASSY.

SHE'S GOT ONE OF THOSE CRAZY,KIND OF OVERLY SPIKED MOM DOS,

LIKE HER HAIR JUST KEEPS GETTINGMORE AND MORE AGGRESSIVE

EVERY TIME I SEE HER.

SHE LOOKS INSANE.

SHE LOOKS A LOT LIKE VANILLA ICEAT THIS POINT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HER HAIR LOOKS LIKEIT WAS CUT BY A COMPUTER.

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

AND SHE LOVES TURQUOISE.

[ Midwestern accent ] SHE JUSTLOVES AMERICAN INDIAN PIECES.

SHE LOVE ANYTHING TURQUOISE.SHE COLLECTS THEM.

SHE LOVES ANYTHING --

ANYTHING AMERICAN INDIAN AT ALL,SHE LOVES IT.

[ Normal voice ] AND SHE WEARSA RIDICULOUS AMOUNT

OF THESE OBNOXIOUS,LIKE PLAQUE-SIZED THINGS.

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND THEN SHE ACTS VERY SURPRISED

IF ANYONE COMPLIMENTSONE OF THEM.

SHE DOES A REAL MODEST PLAY.

[ Midwestern accent ]SHE GOES, "OH, THANK YOU.

"OH, I FORGOTTHAT I HAD THIS ON TODAY.

"THAT'S SO --ISN'T THAT FUNNY?

"I TOTALLY FORGOT ABOUT THAT.HOW SWEET OF YOU TO NOTICE.

HMM. WHAT FUN."

[ Normal voice ] MEANWHILE,IT'S LIKE A NAVAJO GRAVEYARD

COVERING HER ENTIRE LEFT BREAST.

[ CHEERS AND APPLAUSE ]

SHE REALLY WANTS TO BEBLACK OR ETHNIC SOMEHOW.

IT'S -- IT'S VERY EMBARRASSING.[ CHUCKLES ]

HER FAVORITE THINGTO TELL PEOPLE

IS THAT SHESHOULD HAVE BEEN BLACK.

SHE LOVES TO SAY THISAT PARTIES AND STUFF.

IT'S JUST REALLY STRANGE.YES.

IT'S REALLY --IT'S REALLY PROBLEMATIC.

SHE --SHE'S ALWAYS GOING...

[ Midwestern accent ] "YOU KNOW,PEOPLE ALWAYS TELL ME.

"THEY GO, 'KAREN,YOU SHOULD HAVE BEEN BLACK.

YOU DANCE LIKE YOU'RE BLACK.YOU DO. IT'S TRUE.'"

[ LAUGHTER ]

"AND, YOU KNOW, IT'S TRUE.

"I'M A VERY --I'M A VERY SOULFUL DANCER,

"SO PEOPLE REALLY RESPONDTO MY DANCING.

IT'S TRUE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ Normal voice ]MEANWHILE,

HER DANCING IS ACTUALLYSO AWFUL, IT'S CONFUSING.

LIKE, I --

I DON'T KNOW WHAT THE HELLIS GOING ON WHEN SHE'S DANCING.

I KNOW I DON'T FEEL SAFE.

[ LAUGHTER ]

HER DANCING IS PERHAPS THEMOST AGGRESSIVELY WHITE THING

I'VE EVER SEEN.

SHE SORT OF DANCESLIKE SHE'S STIRRING HERSELF.

IT'S JUST THIS VERY...

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ APPLAUSE ]

AND SHE LOVED THAT I WAS DATINGA PUERTO RICAN GUY

'CAUSE SHE FELT LIKEIT JUST BROUGHT HER ALITTLE CLOSER TO BLACK.

[ Midwestern accent ]JUST A LITTLE CLOSER.

JUST INCHING HER WAYOVER TO BLACK.

[ Normal voice ]YOU KNOW?

SO, SHE INVITES HIM PREMATURELYOVER TO OUR HOUSE

FOR A DINNER PARTY,

AND IT'S USAND THIS GAY UNITARIAN COUPLE

SHE'S BEFRIENDED AGAINSTTHEIR OWN WILL, YOU KNOW?

SHE ANSWERS THE DOOR.

SHE'S WEARINGSOME KIND OF A DASHIKI.

SHE LOOKS INSANE.

I'M LIKE, "I DON'T KNOWWHAT SHE'S ROCKING,

BUT I'M GOING INTO DENIALWITH THAT NONSENSE."

AND THEN SHE STARTS BLASTINGGLORIA ESTEFAN,

WHICH IS CUBAN MUSIC.

IT DOESN'T EVEN MAKE ANY SENSE,BUT SHE'S JUST...

[ LAUGHTER ]

[ CHUCKLES ]

AND THEN, SO,SHE'S BLASTING GLORIA ESTEFAN.

MY MOM WANTS TO BE LIKE ONE OFTHOSE WHITE WOMEN IN THE MOVIES

THAT SAVES A BLACK SCHOOL,

THAT PUTS ON A LEATHER JACKETAND JUST SAVES A BLACK SCHOOL.

THAT'S HER DREAM, YOU KNOW?

LIKE MICHELLE PFEIFFERIN "DANGEROUS MINDS," JUST...

[ Midwestern accent ]JUST MARCHES IN THERE

WITH HER SASS-ITUDEAND JUST FIXES EVERYTHING,

JUST TALKS STRAIGHT!

HAVE SOME FUN.

[ CHUCKLES ]

[ Normal voice ]SHE'S ALWAYS TRYING TO SET ME UP

WITH SOME KIDI USED TO TAKE BATHS WITH

WHEN I WAS LIKE 3, TOO.

SHE'S ALWAYS LIKE...

[ Midwestern accent ]"YOU AND DARREN BIEDERMEIERSHOULD GET TOGETHER.

"SURE, HE HASN'T COME OUTOF HIS ROOM IN A WHILE,

"AND WHEN HE DID, HE WAS WEARINGA LONG BLACK CAPE,

"BUT I JUST THOUGHTHE DEALT WITH

"THAT SCHIZOPHRENIC DIAGNOSISSO WELL.

"IT WAS SO MANLY, THE WAYHE HANDLED THAT, WASN'T IT?

"AND, YOU KNOW,HE LOVES RHYTHMIC GYMNASTICS,

"WHICH IS A LOT LIKE STAND-UP,

SO I THINK YOU GUYSWOULD REALLY HIT IT OFF."

[ LAUGHTER, SCATTERED APPLAUSE ]

[ Normal voice ] HER ANDALL HER FRIENDS ARE INSANE.

Loading...