Ed Byrne - Inconvenient Travels

  • Season 1, Ep 9
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 2,688

Why do they bother asking you if you have weapons at airport security? (1:25)

(Ed Byrne)I DON'T ACTUALLYLIKE TRAVELING.

THE FACT IS, I LIKE TOBE IN DIFFERENT PLACES.

'CAUSE I FIND THE BIGGESTPROBLEM WITH TRAVELING...

IT'S NOTHING TODO WITH CUSTOMS.

IT'S NOTHING TO DOWITH CURRENCIES.

IT'S NOTHING TO DOWITH LANGUAGE BARRIERS--NONE OF THAT.

I FIND THE BIGGESTPROBLEM GETTING FROMCOUNTRY TO COUNTRY

IS SIMPLY GETTINGMY BAGS THERE.

'CAUSE AIRLINES DO NOTGIVE A (bleep), DO THEY?

I GET MY BAGS LOSTON AVERAGE ONCE OUTOF EVERY... TIME.

IT WOULDN'T BE SO BAD,LOSING YOUR LUGGAGE,

WERE IT NOT FOR THEFACT THAT THEY ALWAYSSEEM SO INTERESTED

IN YOUR LUGGAGE WHENYOU'RE CHECKING IT IN...

OH, FASCINATED BY IT THEN.

FULL OF QUESTIONS.

WANT TO KNOW THE FULLHISTORY OF YOUR LUGGAGE

BEFORE THEY LOSE IT ON YA.

AND I LOVE IT WHEN THEYASK YOU STRAIGHT OUT

IF YOU HAVE ANYWEAPONS OF ANY KIND.

THAT'S A GREATQUESTION, ISN'T IT?

JUST BALLS OUT.

ANY WEAPONS...

UH, HOW MANY TIMES YOUACTUALLY HAD A RESULT

WITH THAT ONE,DO YOU THINK?

HOW MANY TIMESTHEY'VE ACTUALLYCAUGHT OUT THAT NAIVE,

FIRST-TIME HIJACKER?

ANY WEAPONS TODAY, SIR?

YES... OH, (bleep)!

THIS IS HARDERTHAN I THOUGHT.

THEY NEVER SAIDTHERE'D BE QUESTIONS.

TOO GOOD FOR ME.

DON'T YOU FEEL A LOT SAFERGETTING ON A PLANE NOW,

KNOWING THEY'VEASKED EVERYONE?

I FEEL SO SECURE.

OH, WE COULDN'TPOSSIBLY...THEY'VE ASKED.

KIND OF FEEL IF WEWERE ALL ON A PLANE

AND A HIJACKER'S TO STANDUP AND PULL OUT A GUN,

WE'D ALL GO, "OH,YOU LITTLE LIAR!"

FIBERMIGEE!

THEY ASKED ME.

DID THEY ASK YOU?

WHAT THE (bleep)?

Loading...