Nick Swardson - Not Sure

Nick Swardson: Seriously Who Farted? Season 1, Ep 101 10/11/2009 Views: 66,369

People sometimes think that Nick Swardson is gay because he lists a mysterious sexual orientation on Myspace. (2:07)

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I'M SINGLE, WHICH IS GREAT.LIKE BEING SINGLE.

[women cheering]

YOOOW!

GIRLS LIKE TALL GUYS,WHICH IS FRUSTRATING.

YEAH, YOU NEVER HEARA GIRL LIKE,

"I MET THIS GUY.HE'S SO HOT.

[whispers]HE'S SO SHORT!"

YOU CAN BARELY SEE HIM.[mouths words]

HE SLEEPS IN MY PURSE.

I POUR SHOTS IN MY PURSE.

EVERYONE THINKS I'M GAY,WHICH IS UNDERSTANDABLE.

YEAH, OF COURSE!

I PLAYED A GAYROLLER-SKATING PROSTITUTE ON TV.

[cheers and applause]

FOR SIX YEARS!

HOW'S THAT POSSIBLE?

WELL...

[singsong]TIM!

BEEEOO!

BEEEOOOH!

BUT THE OTHER REASONPEOPLE THINK I'M GAY

IS 'CAUSE ON MY MYSPACEPROFILE...

UNDER SEXUAL ORIENTATION...

I PUT "NOT SURE."

YEAH. YEAH.

NOT 'CAUSE I'M NOT SURE.

I JUST LOVETHAT THAT WAS AN OPTION.

FOR SEXUAL ORIENTATION.THAT'S AN OPTION--NOT SURE.

THEY HAVE STRAIGHT, GAY,

BI-SEXUAL,

NO [bleep] IDEA, DUDE.

NO IDEA.

LIKE WHO IS THAT FOR?YOU HAVE NO IDEA.

LIKE NOT EVEN CLOSE.

LIKE NOT--I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT'S GOING ON.

LIKE, WHO IS THAT FOR?

ARE THERE PEOPLE OUT THERELIKE,

"DUDE, I JUST [bleep]LOOKING AT MY STOVE!"

WHAT DOES THAT MEAN?

DUDE, I HAVE NO IDEA.I HAVE NO IDEA.

I'M GONNA PUT NOT SURE.

THAT IS A MYSTERY RIGHT THERE,WHATEVER'S...

WHATEVER THAT WANTS...

[falsetto]DO NOT KNOW.

NO CLUE!