Mike DeNicola - Midgets

  • Season 1 , Ep 12
  • 01/11/2011
  • Views: 3,750

Ever see a midget run a three-legged race? (1:22)

(Mike DeNicola)I WAS WALKING AROUNDUPTOWN... AVERAGE DAY.

NOTHING GOOD,NOTHING BAD.

A "C," "C PLUS," TOPS.

AND THEN I SAW A MIDGET.

AND MY DAY GOTWAY BETTER.

IF YOU UNEXPECTEDLYSEE A MIDGET,

IT'S LIKE SOMETHINGMAGICAL HAS HAPPENED.

IT'S LIKE A UNICORNJUST CROSSED YOUR PATH

WITH A LEPRECHAUNON HIS BACK.

Y'KNOW, THROWING GOLDCOINS TO EVERYBODY...

AND HE WAS WAITINGFOR HIS BUDDY.

HIS BUDDY CAME OUT, ANDHE WAS A MIDGET TOO.

TWO OF 'EM.

I'VE NEVER BEEN THATHAPPY IN MY LIFE.

AND NOW I'MFOLLOWING THEM.

I DON'T KNOW WHERETHEY'RE GOING.

WHAT IF IT'SSOMEBODY'S BIRTHDAY?

ALL THOSE MIDGETS,WITH HATS AND CAKE.

I WANNA BE A PART OFTHAT--BALLOONS, TOYS,

PLAYING GAMES...

EVER SEE A MIDGET RUNA THREE-LEGGED RACE?

ME NEITHER.

BUT I'D LOVE TO.

AH, MAYBE THEY'RE GOINGTO MIDGET HEADQUARTERS.

ALL THE DIFFERENTKINDS OF MIDGETS,

HANGING OUT, TALKING SHOP.

BUSINESSMAN MIDGET...

"AH, THE STOCK MARKETWAS HELL TODAY!"

FISHERMAN MIDGET... "AH,THE SEAS WERE CHOPPY!"

AND NOW I'M LOOKINGAT MY MIDGETS.

AND MY GUYS ARE COOL.

ONE GUY HAD A ROCK'N' ROLL T-SHIRT,

BLOND PONYTAIL...

OTHER GUY HAD A SHAVED HEAD,EARRINGS, LEATHER PANTS...

WHERE DOES A MIDGETGET LEATHER PANTS?

DOES HE BUY A REGULAR PAIRAND HAVE THEM TAILORED?

IS THERE A TINYSTORE SOMEPLACE--

"TINY PANTS FOR TINY MEN"?

I DON'T KNOW!

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