Kirk Fox - Mount Everest

  • Season 12 , Ep 19
  • 01/11/2008
  • Views: 32,943

I never got the chance to be the first comic to do five minutes from Everest Peak. (2:25)

Tags:  Kirk Fox, exercise, sex

YES.

ALL RIGHT.LOOK AT THIS.

MOUNT EVEREST.

I JUST CAME BACK.

I WAS GONNA BE THE FIRST COMICTO DO FIVE MINUTES FROM THE TOP.

DIDN'T HAPPEN.

NOW I'M GONNA BE THE FIRST COMICTO DO 30 MINUTES

JUST STANDING IN FRONTOF A PHOTOGRAPH OF IT.

I ACTUALLY GOT KICKED OFFTHE MOUNTAIN

BECAUSE I TRIED TO HAVE SEXWITH MY SHERPA'S DAUGHTER.

IT'S LIKE THE BIGGEST NO-NOON EVEREST.

YOU CAN'T HAVE SEX WITH ANYBODY.

IT'S COMPLETELY TABOO.

WASN'T IN THE BROCHURE, THOUGH.

THAT SHOULD HAVE BEEN LIKENUMBER 1 -- "NO SEX ON EVEREST."

NUMBER 2, "DRESS WARM."

[ LAUGHTER ]

IT'S CRAZY.HERE'S WHAT I THINK.

IF YOU CAN GET AN ERECTIONAND SUSTAIN IT

AT 60 DEGREES BELOW ZEROWITH NO OXYGEN,

SEX SHOULD BE YOUR REWARD,YOU KNOW?

BE LIKE, YOU GET DOWN TO BASECAMP -- "DID YOU SUMMIT?"

"NO...

BUT I GOT LAID.IT WAS FANTASTIC UP THERE."

[ LAUGHTER ]

ALL RIGHT,LET'S TALK ABOUT MY DAY.

I JUST WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT.

[ LAUGHTER ]

LUNCH -- LITTLE OUTDOOR CAFĂ©

SOMEWHERE IN SOME VILLAGEHERE IN TOWN,

ALL BY MY LONESOME,JUST EATING THERE.

AFTER LUNCH,SITTING THERE BY MYSELF.

SUDDENLY, SOME GUY JUSTPLOPS DOWN ACROSS FROM ME

LIKE IT WAS A GODDAMNSPEED DATE, YOU KNOW?

I'M LIKE, "WHOA, WHAT'S UP?WHAT'S GOING ON?"

HE'S LIKE, "I'M GAY.

"I'M 40.I MAKE $10 MILLION A YEAR.

"I GOT A PLACE IN NEW YORK, L.A.I GOT A JET.

"I SPEAK FOUR LANGUAGES.I'M INTO FASHION.

I HAVE A CHEF."

I'M LIKE, "BRO...YOU HAD ME AT 'I'M GAY.'"

[ LAUGHTER ]

AND HE'S LIKE, "REALLY?"

I'M LIKE, "NO.I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE FUNNY.

I JUST THOUGHT IT'D BE A FUNNYWAY TO START MY SPECIAL."

I WAS LIKE,"WHAT MAKES YOU THINK I'M GAY?"

HE'S LIKE, "YOUR MUSTACHE."

AND I SAID,"LISTEN, MY MUSTACHE IS GAY.

"I'M NOT.

CAN I SEE YOUR JET, MAYBE TAKEA COUPLE PHOTOS FOR INTERNET."

THEN HE WAS LIKE,"YOU KNOW WHAT?

WOULD YOU HAVE SEX WITH MERIGHT NOW FOR $100,000?"

I WAS LIKE, "I DON'T KNOWWHO YOU THINK I AM

"OR WHAT YOU'VE HEARD,

BUT I DON'T HAVETHAT KIND OF MONEY ON ME."

[ LAUGHTER ]

YOU KNOW?I DON'T HAVE IT.

Loading...