Jimmy Pardo - Different Penises

  • Season 6 , Ep 11
  • 06/30/2002
  • Views: 4,644

Jimmy's nephew asks an inevitable question. (2:00)

JIMMY PARDO>> THAT'S IT,

THE COAT'S COMING OFF.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

THANK YOU.

ALL MY FRIENDS ARE HAVING BABIES

NOW.

I DON'T HAVE ANY KIDS.

MY BUDDY DON'S GOT A LITTLE BOY.

A LITTLE 2 YEAR-OLD BOY.

I THINK HE'S TWO.

HE COULD BE NINE.

I GIVE A CRAP ABOUT THIS KID.

(LAUGHTER)

HE TELLS ME THAT HIS SON IS NOT

CIRCUMCISED AND HE IS

CIRCUMCISED.

AND I GUESS THAT'S A CRISIS.

BUT HE'S TELLING ME HE HAS

TO PLAN FOR THE DAY THAT HIS SON

DISCOVERS HIS PENIS IS

DIFFERENT.

HE HAD TO TALK TO A DOCTOR.

HE HAD TO TAKE A CLASS.

HE HAD TO READ WHAT THEY CALL

A PAMPHLET.

ALL ABOUT THE DAY HIS SON

DISCOVERS HIS PENIS IS

DIFFERENT.

WELL, I GUESS IT HAPPENED.

ABOUT THREE WEEKS AGO,

HE'S GIVING HIS LITTLE BOY

A BATH, HE SAYS, "DADDY, WHY IS

MY PENIS DIFFERENT THAN YOURS?"

HE EXPLAINS WHY.

HE CALLS ME.

BORES ME TO TEARS WITH IT.

NOW LIKE I SAID GUYS, I DON'T

HAVE KIDS, BUT I CAN RELATE

TO THIS STORY.

BECAUSE ABOUT THREE MONTHS AGO

I WAS BABY-SITTING MY NEPHEW

AND I WAS GIVING HIM A BATH.

AND HE SAID, "UNCLE JIMMY,

WHY IS MY PENIS DIFFERENT THAN

YOURS?"

(LAUGHTER)

AND I SAID, "YOURS ISN'T ERECT."

(LAUGHTER CONTINUES)

MY NEPHEW IS 26.

I PROBABLY SHOULD TELL YOU THAT.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

WELL, YOU GUYS HAVE BEEN

DYNAMITE.

(LAUGHTER)

DO ME A FAVOR, GUYS ON YOUR

WAY OUT, IF YOU COULD AVOID

EYE CONTACT WITH ME, THAT'D BE

GREAT.

(CHEERS AND APPLAUSE)

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