Brian Scolaro - Weight

  • Season 13 , Ep 4
  • 01/11/2009
  • Views: 15,123

Brian's on a new diet. It's called "put on a black shirt." (1:11)

LET'S GET THAT [BLEEP]OUT OF THE WAY.

UH, I'M NOT, LIKE, HOSPITAL FAT.JUST A LITTLE FAT, YOU KNOW?

PHEW.I'M ON A NEW DIET.

IT'S CALLED"PUT ON A BLACK SHIRT."

ALL RIGHT.JOKE NUMBER ONE.

[ LIGHT APPLAUSE ]

IT WAS HALFWAY THERE.

[ LAUGHTER, APPLAUSE ]NO! COME ON!

SO, YOU GUYS WANT TO TALKABOUT WEED?

'CAUSE THAT'S WHAT I WANT TO DO.

[ CHEERING ]HEY!

IT'S ILLEGAL.

IT'S ILLEGAL.HOW CRAZY IS THAT?

ALCOHOL -- THAT'S FINE.

THAT'S FINE.WEED'S A PROBLEM.

IF YOU EVER GOT HITBY YOUR HUSBAND,

YOU KNOW, WHEN HE WAS DRUNK,YOU KNOW --

HE DIDN'T COME HOME ALL STONED

AND THREW [BLEEP] COOKIESAT YOUR HEAD, YOU KNOW, LIKE...

[ LAUGHING ]

[ GROANS ]

WHO WOULD YOU RATHER HAVEDRIVING A CAR?

WOULD YOU RATHER HAVEA DRUNK GUY OR A STONED GUY?

STONED GUY --HE'S GOT THE SEAT BELT ON.

HE'S GOING, LIKE,FIVE MILES PER HOUR.

HE'S LIKE, "HOLY JESUS.

"HOLY -- THAT'S A TRUCK!PULL OVER!

"WE'RE WALKING!EVERYBODY GET OUT!

"OH, DID YOU SEE THE SIZEOF THAT THING?"

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