Todd Glass - Imitating Someone Else

  • Season 5 , Ep 16
  • 10/14/2001
  • Views: 2,498

Imitating someone else makes you look just as crazy as they did to you. (1:39)

TOMORROW TO SEE MY FAMILY,

WHICH IS ALWAYS NICE.

I HAVE A NIECE.

PHILADELPHIA!

PHILADELPHIA.

ALWAYS SOUNDS LIKE THEY ARE

SAYING FLUFFY WHEN THEY TALK.

WHERE YOU FROM?

FLUFFY.

FLUFFY?

YEAH.

YOU KNOW DA FLUFFY EAGLES?

THE FLUFFY EAGLES?

NO I NEVER HEARD OF THE FLUFFY

EAGLES.

NO DA FLUFFY EAGLES.

FLUFF, FLUFF, FLUFF.

AND THEN I IMITATE THAT

IN MY HEAD.

YOU KNOW, DID YOU EVER HEAR

SOMETHING, LIKE I WHEN,

I ONE TIME I HEARD THIS GUY FROM

LONG ISLAND LIKE I WAS AT A

SANDWICH PLACE AT AN AIRPORT,

AND I HEARD HIM GO, YEA, DATS

FI DOLLAS.

IT'S FI DOLLAS.

AND THEN I WAS ON THE AIRPLANE,

I WAS SITTING ON THE PLANE

IMITATING HIM.

SO I'M LIKE, FI DOLLAS,

FI DOLLAS.

FI DOLLAS.

AND THEN THE LADY NEXT TO ME SAW

ME.

YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN?

THEN YOU FEEL LIKE OH MY GOD,

I BETTER EXPLAIN, BECAUSE I

THINK TO HER IT LOOKS LIKE I HAD

TOURETTE'S SYNDROME.

I'M LIKE, FI DOLLAS.

FI DOLLAS.

SO THEN I GO,

NO, I'M NOT CRAZY I WAS

IMITATING A GUY I HEARD,

NEVER MIND, I STILL LOOK CRAZY,

YOU KNOW?

LIKE I LOOK ANY MORE NORMAL,

NO I'M JUST IMITATING A GUY

I SAW, FI DOLLAS.

FI DOLLAS.

FI DOLLAS.

GONNA SEE MY NIECE.

I DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO GET HER

FOR HER BIRTHDAY LAST YEAR.

KATIE, I BOUGHT HER GALLOPING

HORSE.

ENDED UP BEING A PIECE OF JUNK.

DIDN'T EVEN GALLOP, IT LIKE

VIBRATED.

IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING.

THIS IS A TRUE STORY.

I THOUGHT IT WOULD BE LIKE ONE

OF THOSE HORSES WHEN YOU PUT IT

OUTSIDE THE SUPER MARKET YOU OUT

THE KID ON IT.

NO.

THIS THING VIBRATED,

IT WAS SO EMBARRASSING.

SHE WAS SITTING ON IT LIKE...

(VIBRATING SOUND)

SO YOU KNOW WHAT I WAS THINKING,

BUT I DIDN'T SAY IT, IT'S MY

PRECIOUS NIECE, YOU KNOW.

THEN MY BROTHER SAID IT,

HE GOES, SHE'S GONNA BE ON THAT

TILL SHE'S THIRTY, THANKS A LOT.

I CAN'T GET MY SISTER OFF OF IT!

(CHEERING AND APPLAUSE)

I DON'T EVEN HAVE A SISTER!

HA, HA.

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