RodMan - Curly Hair

  • Season 10 , Ep 4
  • 02/23/2006
  • Views: 19,820

RodMan wanted waves in his hair. (4:04)

EVERYBODY HAD THEIR DADDY? EVERYBODY HAD THEY DADDY.

YEAH. I DID NOT-- YEAH, THAT'S GOOD.

EVERYBODY HAD THEY DADDY 'CAUSE I DID NOT HAVE A DADDY.

I WANTED A DADDY. WELL, I HAD A DADDY THAT HAD WITH MY MAMA,

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE HIM EVERYDAY. YOU KNOW, IN A--

I USED TO ASK MY MAMA. LIKE, "MAMA, WHERE MY DAD AT?"

AND SHE BE LIKE, "I'M YOUR MAMA AND YOUR DADDY."

YOU BE LIKE, "WHOA. YOU CAN'T BE BOTH OF 'EM.

I KNOW YOU'RE NOT BOTH OF 'EM."

YOU KNOW THAT'S AMAZIN'IF YOU ARE TWO PEOPLE

AT ONE TIME. BUT IT'S COOL HAVIN' A SINGLE MAMA.

YOU KNOW, SINGLE MAMAS HOLD ON TOO LONG, YOU KNOW.

MY MAMA USED TO STILL TRY TO COME IN THE BATHROOM

AND TAKE US A BATH. AND WE WAS 14.

WE BE LIKE "WHOA. MAMA,I DON'T THINK YOU SHOULDBE IN HERE NO MORE.

YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M GONNA HAVE TO PRESS CHARGES

ABOUT THIS, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE..."

YEAH, SHE BE LIKE, "I JUST WANNA WASH YOUR BACK."

YOU BE LIKE, "NO, I'M MATURE. YOU CAN'T BE IN HERE NO MORE.

"THIS IS A MICHAEL JACKSON MOMENT OR SOMETHIN'.

'CAUSE I THINK YOU'RE TRYIN' TO TOUCH ME."

BUT NAH, IT'S DIFFERENT. I MEAN, MY MAMA HAD FOUR KIDS

AND DIDN'T NONE OF US HAVE THE SAME DADDY.

AND THAT'S A LITTLE TRICKY RIGHT THERE, YOU KNOW,

WHEN YOU GET A LITTLE OLDER, YOU GOTTA ASK YOUR MAMA

QUESTIONS ABOUTHER CHILDHOOD, YOU KNOW.

'CAUSE WE BE LIKE,"MAMA, DIDN'T NONE OF USHAVE THE SAME DADDY?"

AND SHE BE LIKE, "WHAT'S IT TO YOU?" YOU KNOW.

AND WE BE LIKE,"WHOA. YOU KNOW,

I THINK YOU COULD HAVE BEEN A HO, YOU KNOW, I DON'T KNOW.

AND THE ONLY THING ABOUT HAVIN' DIFFERENT DADDIES,

THE KIDS HAD DIFFERENT FEATURES.'CAUSE LIKE AS A CHILD,

I WANTED LIKE WAVES IN HAIR, LIKE NICE LITTLE WAVES,

'CAUSE MY BROTHER AND THEM, THEY HAD WAVES IN THEIR HEAD.

AND I WAS LIKE, "MAMA, WHY YOU DIDN'T SLEEP WITH HIM

TWO TIMES, YOU KNOW, GIVE ME A CHANCE TO GET MY WAVES,"

'CAUSE EVIDENTLY MY DADDY DID NOT HAVE GOOD HAIR?

'CAUSE I DID, I WANTED NICE LITTLE WAVES.

AND THEN THE S-CURL CAME OUT.

AND I THOUGHT THAT WAS MY BIG BREAK.

THAT'S LIKE A LITTLE RELAXER THAT MAKE YOUR HAIR CURL UP.

BUT I DIDN'T HAVE THAT KIND OF HAIR THAT WOULD TAKE

THE S-CURL, YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE MY MAMA WENT AND BOUGHT IT

BUT SHE DIDN'T EVEN READ THE DIRECTIONS OR NOTHIN'.

SHE JUST SAID, "PUT IT IN YOUR HEAD."

AND SHE STARTED PUTTIN' IT IN MY HEAD AND YOU KNOW,

ABOUT 30 MINUTES IN I WAS LIKE, "MAMA,

IT'S TINGLIN' A LITTLE BIT. YOU PROBABLY NEED TO TAKE IT OUT."

AND SHE BE LIKE, "LEAVE IT IN. YOU AIN'T GOT THAT KINDA HAIR.

IT AIN'T TOOK YETIN YOUR HEAD," YOU KNOW.

AND I WAS LIKE, "OKAY,"'CAUSE THAT'S YOUR MAMA.

BUT ABOUT 45 MINUTES IN, I WAS LIKE,

"MAMA, I DON'T THINK I DON'T WANT NO WAVE MY WHOLE HEAD HOT.

I THINK I'M GONNA FALL OUT. I THINK I'M GONNA FALL OUT.

AND MY BROTHER WAS LIKE"YOU DON'T PUT WAVES INYOUR HEAD LIKE THAT.

"YOU GOTTA PUT LITTLE MURRAY GREASE IN YOUR HAIR.

THAT'S SOME THICK GREASE THAT YOU PUT IN YOUR HAIR

AND YOU BRUSH IT DOWN REAL GOOD." AND HE'S LIKE

"YOU'LL HAVE SOME WAVES IN THE MORNIN'",

AND I WAS LIKE, "REALLY?"

SO I WENT AND GOT THE LITTLE MURRAY GREASE.

AND IT'S THICK SO IT DON'T DISSOLVE.

HE DIDN'T TELL ME IT DON'T DISSOLVE.

SO I LOOKED LIKE A LITTLE OLD MAN, YOU KNOW,

HAIR JUST GRAY,TRYIN' TO GET THE WAVES.

AND THEN I GET THE BRUSH, AND I BRUSH IT DOWN REAL GOOD.

AND HE'S LIKE, "WELL, GO CUT OFF MAMA'S STOCKING'S

AND TIE THAT REAL TIGHT AND YOU'LL HAVE SOME WAVES."

BUT HE DIDN'T TELL ME WHAT PART OF THE STOCKING'S TO CUT OFF.

SO I GO GET MY MAMAGOOD CHURCH STOCKING'S.

AND I CUT THE LITTLE CROTCH PART,

'CAUSE I WAS LIKE, "YEAH, I WANT SOME BIG WAVES."

AND I TIE IT REAL TIGHT ON MY HEAD.

AND I'M THINKIN' WAVES GONNA COME IN THE MORNIN'.

WAVES GONNA COME IN THE MORNIN'.BUT I DIDN'T MAKE IT TO MORNIN'.

'CAUSE 'BOUT THE MIDDLE OF THE NIGHT, I WAS LIKE, "MMM."

I WAS LIKE, "WAVES STINK, I DON'T THINK I WANT NO WAVES."

I WAS LIKE, "WAVES SMELL LIKE [BLEEP].

I DON'T KNOW WAVES SMELL LIKE [BLEEP]."

AND I WAKE UP AND I'M JUST SWEATIN',

MY WHOLE FACE SMELL LIKE [BLEEP], YOU KNOW?

AND I GO WAKE MY MAMA UP. "MAMA, MY FACE STINK."

SHE BE LIKE, "WELL, GO IN THERE AND WASH IT."

AND I BE LIKE, "WELL, I THINK YOU NEED TO GET UP, TOO,

'CAUSE I THINK WE BOTH GOIN' THROUGH SOMETHIN' RIGHT NOW,"

YOU KNOW, 'CAUSE-- YEAH, THIS IS NOT GOOD RIGHT HERE, YEAH.

I DON'T KNOW IF YOU CAN EXFOLIATE [BLEEP] OUT YOUR FACE.

I DON'T KNOW THAT.

YEAH. THAT'S NOT GOOD WHEN YOUR MAMA [BLEEP]

HAS SOAKED IN YOUR SKIN.THAT'S NOT GOOD.

AND I STILL AIN'T GOT NO WAVES, THAT'S ALL I'M SAYIN'.

THAT STILL DIDN'T WORK OUT GOOD.

I APPRECIATE THAT. I APPRECIATE IT.

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