Uncensored - Nick Swardson - Drunk Chicks

Nick Swardson: Seriously Who Farted? Season 1, Ep 101 10/11/2009 Views: 239,125

Nick Swardson explains why he enjoys partying with drunk chicks despite the inevitable spiral of vomit and tears. (1:56)

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[cheers and applause]

[high-pitched] YEAH!

SO--SO GREAT.

SO MUCH ENJOYMENTFROM DRUNK CHICKS.

AND I LIKETHE COCKY DRUNK CHICKS.

THE ONES THAT BE LIKE,FUCKIN' DRINK.

"I WANNA GET DRUNK."

LIKE THEY'LLGET IN YOUR FACE.

AND THEY'LL BE LIKE,

"I CAN DRINKAS MUCH AS YOU CAN."

I'M LIKE, "REALLY?'CAUSE NO YOU FUCKIN' CAN'T.

"UH...[chuckles]

"YOU'LL NEVER BE ABLETO DO THAT.

YOU'RE PSYCHOTIC."

AND THEN THEY'LL BE LIKE,"OH, YEAH, I CAN, PUSSY.

"LET'S DO A SHOT.

"LET'S DO A SHOT.

"LET'S DO A SHOT.

LET'S DO FIVE."

'CAUSE, LIKE, GIRLS CANDRINK HARD FOR LIKE AN HOUR,

MAYBE TWO HOURS.

BUT ALWAYS COMES THE SPIRAL.

WHICH IS AWESOME.

LOVE THE DRUNK CHICK SPIRAL.

THEY GET COCKY, DO LIKETEN JAGER BOMBS,

THEN...[imitates vomiting]

[whimpering]

[imitates vomiting]

[laughter and applause]

[imitates vomiting]

[whimpering]

"I CAN'T FUCKING BREATHE!

"IT'S NOT FUNNY.

"WHERE'S KELLY?

HAVE YOU SEEN KELLY?"

THEY'RE ALWAYSLOSING FRIENDS.

"SHE WENT TO THE BATHROOMTEN MINUTES AGO.

I THINK SHE'S DEAD."

[whimpers]

[imitates retching]

[whimpers]"I BLEW YOUR DAD."

WHAT'D YOU SAY?

WAIT, WHATWAS THAT LAST PART?

"I'M SORRY."

[chuckles]

"IT WAS HIS BIRTHDAY."