Earthquake - Marriage Is Rough

  • Season 7 , Ep 5
  • 03/06/2003
  • Views: 12,094

You have to keep a marriage going because child support is too expensive. (3:23)

YOU SEE EVERYTHING IN NEW YORK.

I'VE SEEN A BLIND PIMP.

(LAUGHTER)

OH, HE WAS BEATING THE WRONG

HO'S.

HE WAS SLAPPING, WORKING IT,

"WHERE YOU BEEN?"

SHE'S LIKE "I DON'T WORK FOR

YOU."

HE WAS STANDING ON THE WRONG

CORNER.

HIS WOMEN BE PAYING HIM IN

MONOPOLY MONEY.

I SAW HIM AT THE BAR,

LOOK AT ALL THESE $500.

MY WOMEN BE WORKING.

I GOT A LOT OF RESPECT FOR PIMPS

NOW THAT I'M MARRIED.

I DO.

I DO.

'CAUSE A PIMP CAN PUT A WOMAN

ON A CORNER AND MAKE HER SELL

HER MOST PRIZED POSSESSION

AND THEN BRING THE MONEY BACK.

I'VE BEEN HANGING AROUND MARRIED

MEN FOR THE LAST, WHAT,

SIX MONTHS, AND I KNOW BROTHERS

THAT BEEN MARRIED TO THEIR

HIGH SCHOOL SWEETHEART AND WORK

THREE JOBS AND CAN'T GET THAT

BITCH TO FIX 'EM A SANDWICH.

SO WHO THE REAL HO?

IT'S THE TRUTH.

AND, YEAH, I GOT MARRIED.

MARRIAGE IS ROUGH.

I'M TELLING YOU MARRIAGE

IS ROUGH.

MARRIAGE IS LIKE HAVING CABLE,

JUST ONE CHANNEL.

(LAUGHTER)

SAME THING COME ON EVERYDAY.

YOU SEE OTHER THINGS COME ON

BUT YOU CAN'T WATCH IT.

(LAUGHTER)

AND WHEN YOU GET MARRIED YOU GOT

TO HANG AROUND OTHER MARRIED

PEOPLE.

I GOT A BOY THAT WAS MARRIED,

BEEN MARRIED FOR SIX YEARS.

VIDEO TAPED IS WEDDING DAY,

NEVER WATCHED IT.

SIX YEARS LATER NOW HE WATCH IT

EVERYDAY, BUT HE WATCH IT IN

REVERSE.

I ASKED HIM, HE SAID,

"I LOVE SEEING MYSELF TAKE

THAT RING BACK OFF HER (BLEEP)

FINGER."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

WALKING BACK DOWN THAT AISLE,

JUST WAVING AT HER UGLY MOTHER.

GETTING BACK IN THE LIMO,

BACK AT THE BACHELOR PARTY.

LOOK HOW HAPPY I WAS.

I AIN'T SMILED LIKE THIS SINCE

I MARRIED HER.

MARRIAGE IS ROUGH.

PEOPLE DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,

YOU GOT TO KEEP IT, 'CAUSE I GOT

KIDS.

GOT THREE KIDS.

TWO ARE MINE, ONE OF 'EM

DON'T LOOK LIKE ME.

I WAS GONNA GET A BLOOD TEST

BUT THAT COST $2,500.

I SAY I'LL WAIT TILL HE

FALL DOWN AND CUT HIMSELF.

(LAUGHTER)

(APPLAUSE)

'CAUSE KIDS ARE DEEP, MAN.

BECAUSE THAT CHILD SUPPORT IS--

WHOO!

IT'LL BREAK YOU OUT.

I'M ALLERGIC TO THE CHILD

SUPPORT, 'CAUSE WHEN YOU--

OOH, I AM.

'CAUSE WHEN YOU OWE A

BLACK WOMAN MONEY SHE'LL

FIND YOU.

MY REAL NAME AIN'T EARTHQUAKE,

I'M ON THE RUN.

AND CHILD SUPPORT SHOULD BE

A SET RATE.

I DON'T CARE WHAT NOBODY SAYS,

IT SHOULD BE A SET RATE.

I PAY $2,000 A MONTH PER CHILD.

OOH, WHAT I SAID TO THE JUDGE,

(BLEEP) DAMN.

"WHAT, MY KIDS ON CRACK?

(LAUGHTER)

I NEED A REHAB CENTER

OR SOMETHING."

2,000-- I DON'T UNDERSTAND IT,

'CAUSE I PAY $2,000 A MONTH

MYSELF.

MY DAUGHTER GOT A BROTHER,

WHICH AIN'T MY SON, HIS FATHER

ONLY PAY $200.

AND THEY LIVE IN THE SAME HOUSE,

HOW I GOT THE $2,000 CHILD.

WE NEED TO FLIP AGAIN.

THE JUDGE IS GONNA ASK ME,

"WELL, HOW MUCH YOU WANT

TO PAY?"

I'M LIKE "I WANT TO PAY LIKE

THEY PAY OVER IN AFRICA,

39 CENT A DAY."

LAUGHTER)

THEY CAN GO TO SCHOOL

AND EVERYTHING, WHY MY CHILD

NEED $2,000?

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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