Lisa Landry - Louisiana

Sanders, Trenholm, Landry, Oakerson Season 8, Ep 808 01/14/2005 Views: 11,793

Lisa Landry's cousin Amber is 17 and having a baby. (1:37)

I JUST GOT BACK FROM LOUISIANA.

IT'S GOOD TO BE BACK IN

NEW YORK.

THAT'S WHERE I'M FROM IS

LOUISIANA.

I DON'T GO HOME TO VISIT TOO

OFTEN THOUGH, BECAUSE I FEEL

LIKE I ESCAPED FROM MY FAMILY

THE FIRST TIME.

[LAUGHTER]

BUT IT'S MY COUSIN'S WEDDING.

SO, THEY KEPT CALLING.

"YOU'RE GONNA COME HOME FOR

COUSIN CANDY'S WEDDIN',

RIGHT?

IT'S REALLY IMPORTANT.

IT'S GONNA BE GREAT.

SHE'S BEEN LOOKIN' AND LOOKIN'

FOR SOMEONE FOR YEARS.

SHE FINALLY FOUND SOMEONE."

SHE'S 18.

[LAUGHTER]

EIGHTEEN IS TOO YOUNG TO GET

MARRIED.

YOU CAN'T EVEN BUY ALCOHOL.

IF YOU CAN'T DRINK, HOW ARE

YOU GONNA MAKE YOUR MARRIAGE

WORK?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

MY WHOLE FAMILY IS JUST A

BIG OLD REDNECK CLICHE.

MY COUSIN AMBER IS 17 HAVING

A BABY.

AND SHE DID THAT PREGNANT

CHICK THING I HATE.

SHE CAME WALKING OVER TO ME.

SHE'S LIKE GO AHEAD, TOUCH ME.

I SAID, "SUGAR, HAVEN'T YOU BEEN

TOUCHED ENOUGH?"

[LAUGHTER]

MY MOM'S LIKE, "DON'T YOU GO

TEASING AMBER.

AMBER WENT AND MADE A LITTLE

MIRACLE!"

NO, SHE DIDN'T.

YOU DON'T MAKE A MIRACLE

IN THE BACK OF A PICKUP TRUCK.

THE BACK OF A PICKUP TRUCK

IS WHERE YOU'RE PROBABLY MAKING

A FUTURE CARNIVAL WORKER.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I CAN'T IMAGINE HAVING A BABY,

YOU KNOW.

YOU GOT THIS THING THAT RUNS

AFTER YOU.

AND THEN IT FALLS DOWN.

THEN IT FALLS INTO YOU,

THEN IT VOMITS ALL OVER YOU.

THEN IT WANTS TO SUCK ON YOUR

BREAST.

THAT'S LIKE PROM NIGHT.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]