Sexy Vampires

  • Season 3 , Ep 7
  • 10/30/2013
  • Views: 103,395

The latest initiate in a den of vampires expresses some concerns about how the rest of the gang conducts itself. (5:22)

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[sultry industrial music]

BROTHERS AND SISTERS.

- [gasps]

- AH, TONIGHT,

THE NEWEST MEMBEROF OUR FAMILY

WILL FEASTFOR THE FIRST TIME.

all: [hissing]

- OPHELIA...

BRING THE NEW BLOOD.

AHH.

BROTHER TYRELL.

WELCOME TO THE FIRST NIGHTOF YOUR NEW AND--

WHAT ARE WE WEARING HERE?

- W--

UH, I-I'M JUST WEARINGWHAT I GOT BIT IN.

- MM-HMM.

OKAY.DO YOU HAVE ANYTHING BLACK?

OR, LIKE, PANTS WITH LACESUP THE SIDE OF THE LEG...

- [hisses]- WOULD BE GOOD,

JUST SO YOU CAN STILL SEETHE SKIN.

all: [gasping and hissing]

- UH, NO.

THAT'S NOT MY STYLE,

SO I AIN'T GOT NONE OF THATIN MY CLOSET

OR NOTHIN' LIKE THAT.

- OKAY.

ANYWAY, WE WILL TONIGHT

ALL FEAST!

all: [hissing]- [chortles]

- COME ON, MAN.

- EXCUSE ME?

- I'M JUST SAYING,

Y'ALL OVER HERE LICKINGAND--

AND HISSING AND WHATNOT.

IF WE GONNA EAT,THEN LET'S EAT. DAMN!

- Y-YES.

OF COURSE,WE WILL ALL FEED.

all: [hissing]

- OKAY, YEAH, THAT'S ENOUGH.

- SPREAD THE MEAT.

crunch!

- COOL. OKAY.

DID ANY OF THATACTUALLY GET IN YOUR MOUTH?

'CAUSE, I MEAN, NOW--SHOOT.

NO WONDER Y'ALL'S HUNGRYALL THE TIME.

all: [hissing]

- SEE--UH-UH, UH-UH.NO, NO, NO, NO.

SEE, LOOK,WHY Y'ALL GOTTA HISS

WHEN YOU FLASHIN' YOUR FANGS?

YOU KNOW YOU CAN MAKEYOUR TEETH COME OUT

WITHOUT DOINGALL THAT NONSENSE.

SEE?

[silence]

AND CAN YOU TWO GET A ROOM?

SERIOUSLY, Y'ALL LIVEIN A DAMN MANSION.

THERE GOTTA BE SOME OTHER PLACEYOU COULD DO THAT [bleep].

I MEAN, ARE YOU TWOEVEN LESBIANS?

LOOK, I JUST DON'T UNDERSTANDWHY EVERYTHING

GOTTA BE ALL SEXUALAND LICKY.

GIRL, SERIOUSLY, MAN.

YOU GOTTA GET YOUR HANDSUP OFF ME

'FORE I [bleep] YOU UP.

[bleep] IS NASTY.CREEPY AS [bleep].

BEEN TOUCHING MY NIPPLEFOR 15 MINUTES.

ALL THIS [bleep] Y'ALLIS DOING UP IN HERE?

THIS IS JUST, LIKE,STRAIGHT-UP GRATUITOUS.

I GOT BIT ON PURPOSESO I COULD LIVE FOREVER

AND SEE FUTURE CARS.

- YEAH, CYRUS,THESE PANTS ARE UNCOMFORTABLE.

- AND I ACTUALLYHAVE A BOYFRIEND.

- AND THIS SONG HAS BEEN PLAYINGFOR, LIKE, TWO YEARS,

AND IT SUCKS.

- WOW.- [sighs]

THIS JUST SEEMS...

DESPERATE.

- OKAY, DESPERATE?REALLY, TRISTAN?

- IT'S CHRISTIAN.

- REALLY?- HIS NAME AIN'T EVEN TRISTAN.

- SO DO YOU ALLFEEL THIS WAY?

- YEAH.- YEAH.

- KINDA.- YEAH.

- YEAH.

- [snorts]

WOW.

IT'S LIKE YOU CAN'T EVEN GETGOOD FRIENDS--

NO, YOU'RE NOT EVEN--

OKAY, AND YOU'RE LEAVING NOW.THAT'S--

- I MEAN, YOU KNOW WHAT,DOG, SERIOUSLY,

LIKE, YOU COULD FIXTHIS PLACE UP.

IT'D BE DOPE, THOUGH.FOR REAL.

ARE CARS GONNA BE ABLETO FLY,

OR IS EVERYTHING GOING TO BEON A MAGNETIC TRACK?

I MEAN, THAT'S WHATI WANT TO KNOW.

IT'S NO BIG DEAL.

- THIS O-NEGATIVETASTES LIKE PENNIES.

- OH, I'M SORRY ABOUT--HEY, HEY.

NO, NO, NO, NIPPLE PLAYIS FOR PRIVATE TIME.

- WHAT IF ALL OF THIS LIFEWE THINK WE'RE LIVING

IS JUST A DREAM?

AND WHEN WE WAKE UP...[voice fades out]

- THIS IS SUCH BULL[bleep],YOU GUYS.

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