Wyatt Cenac - Main Complaint of Democracy

  • Season 3 , Ep 1
  • 07/20/2012
  • Views: 17,115

That's what happens when you give people a voice. (3:00)

I DON'T WANNA GET INTOAN ARGUMENT WITH HIM.

SO I FEEL LIKE,LET ME CHANGE THE SUBJECT.

LET ME TALK ABOUTSOMETHING ELSE.

AND IT WAS SUMMERTIME,AND IT WAS RIGHT AROUND THE TIME

OF THE BASEBALL ALL-STAR GAME,SO I WAS LIKE, "HEY, HOSS,

YOU WATCHINGTHE BASEBALL ALL-STAR GAME?"

"NO!THE ALL-STAR GAME IS GARBAGE!

"WOW, HOSS,YOU HATE EVERYTHING."

DUDE GOES OFF, HE'S LIKE,"CAN YOU BELIEVE

THEY'RE LETTING DEREK JETERPLAY IN THE ALL-STAR GAME?"

"SURE, HE'S A BASEBALL PLAYER.IT'S A BASEBALL GAME."

SEEMS PRETTY LOGICAL TO ME.

NOW IF HE TOLD METHAT DEREK JETER WAS GONNA BE

IN A JUNIOR HIGH SPELLING BEE,I MIGHT BE PERTURBED.

PERTURBED, P-E-R-T-U-R-B-E-D,

PERTURBED.

THIS DUDE GOES OFF ME,AND HE'S LIKE,

"DEREK JETER DOESN'T BELONGIN THE ALL-STAR GAME.

HE'S OLD, AND HE'S WASHED UP,AND HE'S OUT OF SHAPE.

HE'S PLAYING LIKE GARBAGE.HE'S INJURED ALL THE TIME.

THE ONLY REASONHE'S IN THE ALL-STAR GAME

IS 'CAUSE THE FANS VOTED HIM IN'CAUSE HE'S POPULAR!

AND THAT'S THE PROBLEMWITH THE ALL-STAR GAME

IS THEY LETTHE FANS DECIDE.

AND IN THAT MOMENT,WITHOUT REALIZING IT,

HE BASICALLY SUMMED UPTHE MAIN COMPLAINT OF DEMOCRACY.

(laughter)

LIKE YEAH, "HOSS,THAT'S WHAT HAPPENS

WHEN YOU GIVE PEOPLE A VOICE.

LIKE, SOMETIMESWHEN YOU LET THE FANS DECIDE,

THEY DECIDE THEY WANNA VOTE FORTHE CHARISMATIC BIRACIAL GUY.

(cheers and applause)

I LOOKED IT UP.

DEREK JETER,TO PLAY IN THE ALL-STAR GAME,

HE GOT A MILLION VOTES,WHICH THAT'S A LOT OF VOTES.

TO PUT THATINTO PERSPECTIVE FOR YOU,

THAT'S TWICE AS MANY VOTES ASTHE MAYOR OF NEW YORK CITY GOT

TO BECOME THE MAYOROF NEW YORK CITY.

AND TO BECOME MAYOR FORAN UNPRECEDENTED THIRD TERM,

MICHAEL BLOOMBERGGOT HALF A MILLION VOTES.

THERE ARE OVER 8 MILLION PEOPLEIN THIS CITY.

THERE'S A SAYING THAT THERE ARE8 MILLION STORIES IN THIS CITY.

7-1/2 MILLION OF THOSE STORIESARE JUST EXCUSES

WHY PEOPLEDIDN'T VOTE FOR MAYOR.

(laughter)

THEY ALL GO LIKE THIS.

ONCE UPON A TIME,"I FORGOT.

THE END."

(laughter and applause)

AND IT WASN'T JUST JETER.

ALL THE BASEBALL PLAYERSWHO PLAYED IN THE ALL-STAR GAME,

THEY ALL GOT MORE VOTESTHAN THE MAYORS

AND THE CONGRESSPEOPLE,

AND THE SENATORSFROM THEIR STATES,

WHICH TO ME BEGS THE QUESTION,

IS IT WEIRD THAT THE BESTEXAMPLE OF DEMOCRACY AT WORK

IN THIS COUNTRYIS FILLED WITH CUBANS?

I DON'T KNOW,I DON'T KNOW,

BUT I DO KNOWTHAT WHEN PEOPLE SAY

BASEBALL IS AS AMERICANAS APPLE PIE, I SAY, "NO,

IT'S MORE AMERICAN,'CAUSE APPLE PIE,

YOU BAKE ONE, YOU GOTTACUT SLICES FOR EVERYBODY."

THAT'S SOCIALISM.

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