Guys, I wanted todrive here tonight
but I broke down...
(voice trembles):in my daddy's arms.
Why are you notlaughing at that?
That hurts me and my father!
I will talk to the crowd.
I will break downthe fourth wall.
I'm intense. Twice I chargedthe mound in T-ball.
I went right afterthat parent's fanny pack.
And why do they call ita fanny pack
if it hangs over your genitals?
It should be called a sack pack.
(laughter)That's a simple joke.You got it.
Go ahead and applaudon that one.
You're applauding a jokeI've been doing for 15 years!
In front of rehab groups.
Latino gang members.
And I'm connectingwith you. Yes!
You got it.
I am parched.
Does anybody here have anyfreshly squeezed Sunny Delight?
My lips are dry.
I have chapped herpes.
Yes! One-linerscoming out of nowhere.
Going off script, pushing,staying dry, taking Lamictal.
It's a mood stabilizer.
I live in the ten-dollarco-pay world.
I get it.
I'm looking at you people.
I hang out at Dunkin' Donuts.
Threw my cup at Starbucks.
© 2016 Comedy Partners. All Rights Reserved. Comedy Central and all related titles, logos and characters are trademarks of comedy partners.