Andy Haynes - Being Called Gay

  • Season 2, Ep 13
  • 06/14/2013
  • Views: 12,849

Andy Haynes thinks gay people should use their gentrification talents in the afterlife. (1:33)

I... uh... I've been calledgay a lot, my whole life.

Um, so I'm used to it.

I was raised by my mom,

so I was, like,a pretty feminine kid.

But, uh... but, you know,

like, I... I wore, like,a cape and...

a crown and high heelsand lipstick

and I blew guys,but what I'm trying to say...

is that I know what it's liketo be called gay.

But this guy, he called me gaythe other day.

He called me gay'cause I'm a vegetarian.

He was like,"You don't eat meat?

Queer."

I was like, "How madis he gonna be when he finds out

what gay dudesare really doing?"

It's not vegetables, bro.

It's way differentthan a farmers' market.

I, uh...

I have a gay brother,I have a gay sister

and I have a gay uncle,and I think it's crazy

that they live in this countryand they are not afforded

the same rights as everybody--I think that's insane.

I think that's super crazy.

(crowd cheering)

But... having said that,I do think

that they shouldgo to hell, and...

it's only because gay peopleare so good

at gentrifying neighborhoods.

I kind of want to seewhat they do with the place

before I get down there.

"Are you kidding me?

"Is that a dog park?

"Gay people.

I love your hell."

(chuckles)

"Thai food?" Um...

(chuckles)

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