Dov Davidoff - Gay Cousin

  • Season 11 , Ep 5
  • 01/25/2007
  • Views: 16,233

Dov Davidoff outed his cousin during an argument over a turkey leg. (2:34)

A GAME OF PICTIONARY. YOU EVER PLAY PICTIONARY?--

JOHNNY, THIS GUYDRAWS A DUCK IN A LAKE.

IT WAS A DUCK. HE YELLS AT ME FOR TEN MINUTES 'CAUSE I DIDN'T GUESS

CHICKEN SOUP. AND THEN THE WHOLE FAMILY'S ANGRY WITH ME

BECAUSE APPARENTLY I OUTED MY COUSIN DURING AN ARGUMENT

OVER A TURKEY LEG. 'CAUSEHE GOES, "YOU HAD THE LAST LEG."

AND I WAS LIKE "YOU'RE GAY."

NAH, NAH, BUT JUST 'CAUSE EVERY YEAR--

BUT I HANG OUT WITH--WE'RE VERY CLOSE, ME AND BILLY.

EVERYBODY'S ACCEPTED AND WE LOVE 'EM.

IT'S JUST EVERY YEAR MY AUNT FRANASKS THE SAME QUESTION,

AND I JUST HAD ENOUGH OF IT. LIKE, EVERY YEAR SHE SAID,

"BILLY, HAVE YOU MET ANY NICE GIRLS YOU'RE DATING?"

AND I WAS LIKE "BILLY'S WEARING CAPRI PANTS, MAN."

HE'S NOT EVEN A LITTLE GAY. HE'S NOT ON THE FENCE.

- HE'S LIKE [NA-NEH]. - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

HE'S GAY-GAY. I LOVE THE GAY MAN.

I'VE NEVER UNDERSTOOD PEOPLETHAT DON'T LIKE GAY PEOPLE.

I'VE NEVER UNDERSTAND THAT. YOU KNOW THE WHOLE--

IT'S LIKE-- THAT'S HOW THE GUY PREVENTING YOU FROM GETTING LAID--

I MEAN-- THINK ABOUT IT. IF YOU WERE IN A RELATIONSHIP

WITH WHOEVER YOU'REIN A RELATIONSHIP WITH,

I WISH EVERY OTHER GUY WERE GAY. THINK ABOUT THE LEVERAGE

THAT WOULD CREATE IN YOUR RELATIONSHIP.

YOU CAN SAY ANYTHING YOU WANT.

YOU COULD BE LIKE NOT EVEN MAKING EYE CONTACT,

WITH ONE FOOT UP ON THE COUCH, WITH YOUR SHOE ON.

AND YOU COULD JUST BE LIKE, "MAKE ME A SANDWICH."

AND SHE'LL BE LIKE, "WHAT-- WHO-- WHAT?"

AND YOU'D BE LIKE, "AH-- WHERE ARE YOU GONNA GO?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

I WANT THIS CLEANED UP AROUND HERE AS WELL."

IT'S THE ONLY GAME IN TOWN. I LOVE THE GAY MAN.

THE POINT OF THE WHOLE SHOW IS--THIS IS GOOD--

WHY DO GAY GUYS ALWAYS LOOK LIKE THEY JUST SMELLED COOKIES?

- [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]- HOOO!

WHAT IS THAT LOOK, JOHN, THAT-- [SNIFFS]-- AH-HAA?

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

DID SOMEBODY MAKE-- AH-HAH?

- NO, YOU'RE GAY! - [LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

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