Scott Kennedy - Willie Nelson

  • Season 8 , Ep 28
  • 06/10/2004
  • Views: 4,489

It's amazing that Willie Nelson can still get laid. (2:31)

STEVE.

I, AH...

[LAUGHTER]

SO-- ALL RIGHT, SO YOU'RE

STRAIGHT.

WELL, THAT'S COOL WITH ME.

I MEAN, I KNOW YOU WERE BORN

THAT WAY, AND I SUPPORT YOUR--

LIFESTYLE, IF THAT'S WHAT YOU

CALL IT.

AND-- YOU KNOW, MORE POWER TO--

YOU KNOW, IF YOU HAVE A PARADE,

I'LL MARCH WITH YOU.

I DON'T CARE WHO SLEEPS WITH

YOU-- I DON'T--

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

SO, YOU'VE NEVER BEEN WITH A

GUY?

Steven: NO.

Scott Kennedy: STEVEN.

EVER.

Steven: NO.

Scott: EVER, EVER?

LOOK AT ME IN THE EYES.

EVER?

COME ON.

[LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE]

YOUR BEST FRIENDS SLEEP OVER,

SIXTH GRADE, A PLAYBOY, NOTHING?

YOU HAVEN'T--

A SWORD FIGHT IN THE TENT IN

THE BACKYARD.

COME ON, STEVEN, YOU GOT--

LOOK AT HOW THE STRAIGHT GUYS

GET QUIET.

THEY'RE LIKE, "A SWORD FIGHT

COUNTS?"

NO, IT--

[LAUGHTER]

IT DOESN'T COUNT.

THAT'S HILARIOUS.

I'VE NEVER SEEN MORE STRAIGHT

GUYS BE LIKE-- "WHOO, THAT WAS

CLOSE.

HELL, I THOUGHT I WAS GONNA

HAVE TO DO DRAG FOR A WHILE."

ALL GAY GUYS DON'T DO DRAG,

BY THE WAY.

I'M GAY.

I'VE NEVER DONE DRAG.

AND THANK GOD.

YEAH.

YOU GUYS ARE LOOKING AT ME,

LIKE, GOING, "YOU WOULD NOT

EVEN BE"-- I THINK I'D BE CUTE

IN DRAG.

IN MY MIND, I PICTURE MYSELF

BEING SOMEBODY LIKE WHITNEY,

OR SOMETHING.

[LAUGHTER]

YOU GUYS ARE GOING, "NO, YOU'RE

GONNA BE WYNONNA."

ALL RIGHT.

[LAUGHTER]

I DO LIKE COUNTRY AND WESTERN

MUSIC.

I'M FROM TEXAS.

YOU GOTTA LIKE COUNTRY AND

WESTERN MUSIC IF YOU'RE FROM

TEXAS.

YOU KNOW WHAT?

I DON'T LIKE ALL GROUPS.

MY FAVORITE ARTIST PROBABLY

WILLIE NELSON.

HE'S WHAT, 113 YEARS OLD,

SOMETHING LIKE THAT?

LOOKS LIKE PIPPI LONGSTOCKING

AND STILL GETS LAID.

YOU GO, WILLIE.

YOU TEAR THAT UP, BOY.

IF YOU'RE FANS OF WILLIE,

YOU KNOW THIS SONG.

IT'S CALLED, "I WENT TO BED AT

TWO WITH A TEN, AND WOKE UP AT

TEN WITH A TWO."

WILLIE ACTUALLY SINGS THAT SONG.

"I WENT TO BED AT TWO WITH A

TEN, AND WOKE UP AT TEN WITH A

TWO."

ALL WILLIE'S SAYING IS THAT HE

WENT OUT AND GOT DRUNK.

MEETS SOMEBODY, THEY'RE CUTE

'CAUSE HE'S DRUNK.

HE WAKES UP SOBER, AND THEY ARE

BUTT-UGLY.

YOU KNOW, THAT'S-- THAT'S NOT

FAIR.

I MEAN, THERE'S A WHOLE 'NOTHER

SIDE OF THAT STORY.

RIGHT, LADIES?

OH, HELL, YEAH.

SOME WOMAN WOKE UP NEXT TO

WILLIE NELSON.

HA-HA-HA-HA-HA!

I BET THAT'S A BREATH OF FRESH

AIR, HUH?

I BET SHE WOKE UP KIND OF HUNG

OVER, GOING-- "AH-- AAH!"

[LAUGHTER]

I MEAN, WHY DO YOU THINK PEOPLE

SAY, "OOH, I GOT THE WILLIES?"

I MEAN...

[LAUGHTER, CHEERS & APPLAUSE]

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