Donald Trump is going to bePresident of America.
Uh, when you're awake,by the way.
And a real president, not likethose cool movie presidents
who do things like preparing thenation for an asteroid strike,
or, or piloting a fighter jetagainst aliens,
or defending his ownAir Force One.
Get off my plane!
Uh, that's still friendlierthan Spirit Airlines.
It turns out,unlike those three actors,
Donald Trump has not yetmastered the role
of Commander in Chief.
TV REPORTER: President-elect Donald Trump
leaves the press behind for a private dinner with his family.
The press wasn'ttoo happy about it.
TV REPORTER: The press got so mad.
TV REPORTER: The president-elect ditches longstanding protocol.
TV REPORTER: President-elect Donald Trump tried to sneak out
of Trump Tower for dinner, after staff told reporters
he was in for the night.
TV REPORTER: And the only way reporters
knew what was happening
was when his motorcade was seen
driving away from Trump Tower.
I'm sorry, but America's electeda dumbass. I'm sorry.
I-- No, I'm sorry.
Wait. This is...
-This is the same guy...-(cheering and applause)
This is the same guy who said
he's gonna sneak upon ISIS, yeah?
The same man who thinkshe's going to slip through
Midtown Manhattan undetectedwith an eight-limo motorcade?
How are you gonna sneak outwith the secret service,
all of those cars?
It's like him going like,"All right, guys, shh!
Shh! Whoo! Shh."
And look, I understand whythe press and the public
would be concerned that Americahas basically elected
a 70-year-old Ferris Bueller
who might at any time disappear.
I mean, can you imagine howterrifying that would be?
The nation is under attack,
and you don't know whereyour president is.
Just someone runninginto the oval office,
"Mr. President, Mr. President,th-the... wait a second.
"This is just a suit stuffedwith newspaper!
"Oh, no. What's that?
"Oh, wow.That's a great suggestion.
"Wow. Why do you seem smarter,Mr. President?
That's actually great."
At least he's predictable,you know.
You know, if this wereany other president,
him ditching his press pool
would be something to get muchmadder over.
But I feel thatwith Donald Trump,
we're going to have to practicepreserving our rage.
Because you realizeit's only been eight days.
And already, there's been,like, what, six scandals.
There's still 1,524 days left,people.
-Yes, yes.-(audience exclaiming)
We have to pace ourselves.