Roast Battle - All the Best Burns

Season 1, 08/02/2016 Views: 953

From low blows to smack talk, Sarah Tiana, Mike Lawrence, K. Trevor Wilson and Earl Skakel roast it out. (1:38)

- And I'll never remember the first he said to me,

"Can I clean your windshield for a dollar?"

- The roughest part of Ralphie's divorce was getting

the ring off his finger.

- Pick a size bud, either (bleep) lose weight

or give up, but make a choice.

- Trevor, the next time you get a DUI,

the tow truck's gonna come for you.

- Because a pussy is literally the only thing on

this planet you won't eat.

- Olivia, you've had somany old comics in you,

your pussy's called the Friar's Club.

- Sara, you know, peoplethink she's a slut,

she's actually a real prude.

She won't even put out new material.

- I love that you think you know what a pussy looks like.

- People are asking me tonight if I'm gonna

put Sara in her place.

She's a 38 year old woman in comedy,

there isn't one.

- Hey Trevor's favoritesoda is ginger ale,

not because he's a redhead,

but because he leaves every girl in Canada dry.

- People look at me andthink homeless person,

they look at you and think date rapist

who leaves every victim with an autographed head shot.

- Tony, you look like you could write

a great coffee table book on how to hide an erection

at a child's birthday party.

- Earl doesn't have kids either,

unless you count the ones on his hard drive at home.

- Jimmy, you look likeyou worked at Hogwarts,

which is what girls getwhen they (bleep) you.

- Earl's a Kennedy cousin and in honor of his family,

every time he climbs on stage, he dies a tragic death.