Wanda Sykes - Random Screening

Season 1 , Ep 101 01/09/03 Views: 11,582

Wanda Sykes always seems to get singled out by airport security, and she's pretty sure she knows the reason why. (1:28)

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I FLEW IN HERE FROM L.A.

RIGHT?

(APPLAUSE)

AND THAT RANDOM SCREENING THAT

THEY SAY THEY DO AT THE AIRPORT?

THERE'S NOTHING RANDOM ABOUT

THE RANDOM SCREENING AT ALL.

I KNOW EVERY TIME I FLY,

I GET CHECKED TWICE.

THEY STOP ME AT SECURITY,

AND THEN THEY GET ME AGAIN

AT THE GATE.

THE LAST TIME WAS SO BAD,

THEY ACTUALLY MADE ME GO THROUGH

THE MACHINE WITH THE LUGGAGE.

I LIKE-- MAN, WHAT IN THE--

(LAUGHTER)

THIS IS RIDICULOUS.

THIS CANNOT BE HEALTHY.

BEING ALL IRRADIATED.

WHAT THE HELL IS THIS, MAN?

THERE IS NOTHING RANDOM ABOUT

IT.

AND THEN, YOU GET TO THE GATE,

AND THEY STANDING THERE WITH A

SHERMAN WILLIAMS PAINT CHART.

IF YOUR ASS IS DARKER THAN

KHAKI, YOU GETTIN' SEARCHED.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

SHOOT, I BEEN SEARCHED SO MUCH,

I SAID THE HELL WITH LUGGAGE.

I COULD JUST PUT ALL MY STUFF ON

A HANGAR.

THIS IS ALL I GOT, Y'ALL.

THAT'S IT.

Y'ALL SEE?

TWO...THREE PAIR OF DRAWERS.

THAT'S IT.

THAT'S IT.

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

AND THEN ALSO, THE PEOPLE WHO

DOIN' THE SEARCHIN', THEY SOUND

LIKE THEY JUST GOT INTO THE

COUNTRY FOUR DAYS AGO.

(LAUGHTER)

"OKAY, OKAY, MY FRIEND.

OKAY, I-- I NEED--

WHAT I NEED-- I THINK-- "

"NO, NO.

I NEED TO SEE YOUR ID."

(LAUGHTER AND APPLAUSE)

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