New Hillary Clinton Conspiracy Theories

Wednesday, September 7, 2016 09/07/2016 Views: 257

Bored of the tired conspiracy theories about Hillary Clinton, Adam Goldberg, Mary Lynn Rajskub and James Davis spread their own rumors. (1:47)

Pantsuit tyrant Hillary Clintonis blasting Republicans

for spreading conspiracytheories about her.

Hillary told reportersthat Republicans have been

"engaging in partisan conspiracytheorizing about her

for 25 years"and she's sick and tired of it.

But not too sick or too tiredto run the country,

'cause it's not like she's dyingof some rare disease

or anything, guys.(chuckle) Come on.

So, comedians...Hey, come on, come on.

Shut up.Come on, come on, come on.

Come on. Come on, come on, comeon. No, you shut up.

Come on. Come on.

(bleep) iPhone!All right. Uh...

Comedians, Hillary seems bored

with what the "conspiracy theorymachine factory"

is churning out, so pleasecome up with a better

conspiracy theory for her.

I'm gonna put 60 secondson the clock, and begin.

-James Davis.-Tupac is alive

and she know where he is.

All right, points.Adam Goldberg.

(clears throat)

Snowden blew Bill--talk about leaking.

Points, points. Mary Lynn.

Hillary took the headphone jackout of the iPhone.

God damn it! Points.James Davis.

Hillary Clinton suppliedMalia Obama with the weed.

All right, points.James Davis.

Hillary pantsuit is likeDarth Vader's helmet--

if she takes it off, she dies.

All right, points.Adam Goldberg.

Uh, Hi-Hillary inventedthe Internet with Al Gore,

then forgot how to use it.

All right, points.James Davis.

Hillary was the first choiceto play Cookie on Empire.

-Points. Adam Goldberg.-That's awesome.

Hillary attendedTrump's wedding.

Oh, no, wait,that actually happened.

Yes, points.Mary Lynn Rajskub.

I've never seenHillary and Hitler

in the same room, have you?

James Davis.

Bernie Sanders is really

a time-travelingHillary Clinton from the...

(buzzing)

That's all...that's all you need.

I just thought... I don't know.

HARDWICK (imitating Sanders):Quick, get in the car!